Wish You Weren't Here
by Eryn Galen
Summary: Here it is THE SEQUEL TO ROAD TRIP! Harry and Draco, now 19 are taking a holiday abroad alone, but as I'm sure we all know, that's not going to last very long! The return of our fav. Camp!Flamboyant!Bottom!Draco! R&R! Full summery inside!NEW CHAPTER!lEMON
1. Chapter 1 And so The Story Begins

Ok, everybody, guess what?

I'M BACK!

And I promise you this, the sequel will have LOTS more madness, humor, smut, and of course camp!Draco

So it's all good news!

Well, let's get this party started!

**Title: **Wish You Weren't Here!

**Rating: **Hard R, with a few NC-17 parts! Don't worry though; you can either get those parts via email, or LJ in a few months time! Wonder which is easier …

**Summery:** Sequel to Road Trip, Harry and Draco, now 21, are off on a romantic holiday on their own to escape media attention, to actually have sex without being disturbed, and, naturally, to get rid of their parents. But what these two expected changed dramatically after Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Blaise come into the picture, and with a few 'unexpected' additions.

**Pairings:** All the same pairings! H/D, RW/PP, BZ/HG. Although there might be a few more, depends on how the chapters come out!

**Warnings:** It's a Road Trip sequel; so, expect a lot of sarcasm, pervy intentions, not-so-funny jokes, a lot of innuendo, smut, smut, smut, the return of our favorite FlamboyantlyGay!Camp!Bottom!Draco, het, bad language, a lot of alcohol consumption, possibility of lung cancer from too many ciggies, singing, complaining holiday makers, craziness and for a new one … pregnancy!

**Disclaimer:** Oh, yea, I so own Harry and the gang, honestly, if I did, I'd have Harry and Draco get it on in Dumbledore's office and Hermione would go blonde and become a porn star … which, might I add, could be possible … anyway, I own nothing! Don't sue me, I'm so poor I live in a cardboard box in the dump with a over-possessive jam sandwich and my dog as the landlord … true story honest!

**Note:** all the above won't be in any other chapters, so if you want to know what you're reading, you'll have to come back here! Lol!

_**And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!**_

* * *

**Chapter 1: And So A New Journey Begins ... With a Well Dressed Bang!**

"Come on Harry! Get your ass in gear!" A stressed Draco Malfoy screeched.

"Draco! The plane does not leave until five! It's eleven in the morning!" Draco's boyfriend, Harry Potter pointed out.

"Yeah? That's gives us what? 4 hours to prepare and make sure we have anything! If I forget something I won't survive! And what if we miss the plane because YOU decided that we had loads of time! Huh? What then? I am NOT spending the summer a Lake whatever-the-hell-it's-name was –"

"It wasn't a lake, it was a hotel with a swimming pool, and you were just too drunk to tell the difference!" Harry interrupted.

"-swimming-pool, lake, whatever, my point is, is that we are finally going on a nice holiday abroad on our own, and I do not want the whole trip messed up by missing the plane! And I warn you now, if you forget the passports - again - I will hurt you!"

"Seriously, you forget the passports once and they never let you forget it," Harry muttered under his breath while Draco started on a rant about passport officers and plane wings. It was all too complicated.

"And what if we couldn't get any more passports? What if there's a sudden passport plague or something where no more passports are being born anymore? We won't be able to go! I couldn't stand that, I'm NOT spending another holiday with our parents in the next room! That was torture –"

Harry just nodded along with whatever Draco was saying. He was so used to this by now that he just blocked Draco out completely. It was the only way to make it through one of Draco's pointless speeches, and after three years of being with Draco, Harry was a seasoned professional.

"Oh my God! I just realized something! I do not have enough face cream to make it through the summer –"

"It's called duty-free," Harry interrupted again.

"It's called crappy cheap foot cream sneakily disguised as face moisturizer! I am not paying a tenner for foot cream! Ohhh, maybe … no, that wouldn't work …"

Harry checked his watch, 12 O'clock; at this rate there will be just enough time to have a pee before they headed of to the airport.

"Wait! Do I have my mosquito repellent! I need it! I'll be eaten alive and bug bites are so not attractive, Harry? Do you think I should bring some Evian with me? Do you think they sell Evian over there?"

"Draco, we're going to the Caribbean, not to some native tribe, of course they'll have proper water over there!"

"Yeah, I suppose, but still," and with that Draco took out a suitcase, empty the contents from his last holiday, including a rather tastefully coloured sequin thong, and proceeded to fill the case with bottles of Evian and, of course, the monogrammed tissues.

"You know you won't be able to bring that on the plane, don't you?" Harry pointed out.

"Of course not! It'll go into that storage place beneath the plane, stupid!"

Harry shook his head, not wanting to go into THAT discussion again about weight limits on planes and evil men-castrating airhostesses.

"Right, do I have everything?" Draco asked himself, surveying a huge pile of suitcases.

"We'll have to stop at my mom's, she has a bag for me over there," Harry reminded Draco.

"Right, right. Did I bring my flip-flops?"

"For the fiftieth time, YES!" Harry said, said flip-flops were actually stolen from Pansy, which explained the all the pinkness and glitter … Draco wasn't THAT gay! Wait... scratch that... he probably was. After all, Pansy _did_ have other pairs that were much less flamboyant.

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Have you seen my sun glasses?"

"No, are they in your bag?"

"… oh yeah, here they are."

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Will there be any clubs where we're going?"

"I don't know."

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Don't forget the pass-"

"I will NOT forget the passports!"

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Have you seen my nail files?"

"In a bag somewhere."

"Harry?"

"… What?"

"Nothing."

Harry was so close to throwing a bag at Draco's head it wasn't even funny.

Well, maybe just a little.

"Harry?"

"For God's sake! What do you want?"

"If you're going to take that tone with me …"

"Sorry, what?"

"Oh … Damn, I forgot!"

Count to ten, Harry thought, count to ten slowly!

"Harry?"

"WHAT!"

"I was just going to ask you whether your mother will have sun cream …"

"Sorry."

* * *

It was one o'clock where Draco was finally packed and was ready to head over to Harry's parent's house to pick up Harry's bags and to say goodbye.

"Draco?" Both boys turned to see a teary eyed Narcissa at the doorway.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing … just wanted to say goodbye to my baby!" and with that she threw herself at Draco and proceeded to hug the life out of him and drown him with tears.

"I'm not going for long!" Draco said, trying to get his mother off him.

"Yes you are! You'll be gone for soooo long that when you come back you won't even remember your dear old mummy!" Narcissa sobbed.

Harry was finding it quite hard to keep a straight face.

Lucius Malfoy, who has made another rare appearance in his family's life, came to the door to find his only son being strangled by his tearful mother who was hanging on to him for dear life.

"Right … Ok," was all he said before taking a swig of whiskey from a hip flask and passing it to a surprised Harry.

"Mother, you're ruining my shirt!" Draco screamed after realizing there was a rather damp patch on his shoulder.

"Oh my God! Not the Gucci!" His mother exclaimed.

"Crap! It is Gucci!"

And with that both Draco and Narcissa started to try to dry the shirt frantically, all the while apologizing to the Fashion God of Gucci and pleading for forgiveness for ruining the coveted material.

"Drink up son, you'll need it," Lucius said to Harry, nodding at the whisky.

* * *

After a frenzied trip back upstairs to Draco's closet and half an hour looking for a nice shirt that will go with Draco's trousers, Harry and Draco were finally on their way to the Potter household.

This time they were greeted with a tearful Lily Potter.

"Seriously, what's with mothers and crying?" Harry muttered to Draco.

"I think that they think that we think that they think that you think that I think that they think that we think … what was the question again?"

Harry rolled his eyes and walked towards the mine field, aka, Lily Potter.

"Harry! My darling, I thought you were lost! What took you so long to get here?" Lily screeched while trying to grab Harry, luckily Harry jumped out of her range before she could get her claws on him.

"Sorry, that was my mother's fault," Draco said.

"Ohhh! Your poor mother must be feeling awful!" and for the second time that day, Draco found himself being almost choked to death by an over emotional mother.

"Mum, get off him," Harry said, trying to pry her arms from around his boyfriend's neck.

Lily was having none of it and proceeded to squeeze Draco painfully, who, by that moment, was turning purple.

"Mom, seriously, let go," Harry said, trying not to laugh.

Lily's only response was to grad the unsuspecting Harry with her other arm and proceeded to hug him tightly as well, sobbing into Draco's shirt.

This was the scene that James Potter was met with when he went to see what was taking his wife so long to say hello.

"Lily, maybe you should let go of them?" James asked calmly, knowing that any loud, or angry, noises would only make her more paranoid and emotional.

"NO! My baby is leaving me!" she cried, while banging Harry and Draco's heads together when she tightened her arms.

"Could you at least let go of the one that's actually not your 'baby'?" James asked, noticing Draco's purple face.

"What?" Lily asked, looking at her husband confused.

Then she realized that she was nearly choking the life out of her son's boyfriend, and quickly let go of him.

"Oh, sorry Draco dear!

"S'ok!" Draco squeaked out; voice 3 octaves higher than normal, while massaging his throat while gasping for breath.

He then noticed that his second shirt of the day was yet again soaked from Lily's tears.

"MY SHIRT!" He screeched.

"What?" Lily and James asked together, Harry only cursed under his breath.

"It's WET!" Draco cried.

"Well, we can put it into the dryer, no problem, dear," Lily said, while James and Harry both shared a look.

"You can't put Armani into the dryer!" Draco stressed, rubbing the damp area as if the wetness would magically jump off.

"Well …" Lily said, she wasn't exactly sure how to deal with Draco's hissy fits, only Narcissa seemed to master that technique.

"Draco, get one from your suitcase!" Harry interrupted before a full blown fit started.

"The suitcase is in the car!"

"Well then, get the keys, open the boot, find your case, open it and find another shirt!" Harry explained as if he was talking to a toddler.

Draco glared at Harry for a minute at the degrading tone in Harry's voice while Harry glared back in an 'I mean it' kind of way, sighing heavily in defeat Draco turned around and headed towards the car.

"Well done Harry," James said, clapping Harry on the back.

"How did you do that?" Lily asked astounded.

"A lot of practice and dog training classes," Harry answered watching Draco to make sure he actually did what he was told and didn't sneak off to the nearest shopping centre to buy a completely new wardrobe.

"So you have your flights all sorted out and everything?" a much calmer Lily asked.

"Yeah, we're getting a flight to Antigua and then getting a ferry to St. Barthelemy!"

"I still can't believe my only son is off to St. Barths, that's like one of the most exclusive Caribbean Islands!"

"The perks of going out with a millionaire! Oh, and it gets better, we're staying at 'Hôtel Le Toiny!" (That's the fifth most expensive hotel in the world folks! I did my homework for this one!)

"You better bring me back something nice if you know what's good for you," James warned with an evil smirk.

"I will!"

* * *

The couple had hired a cab to take them to the airport, deciding it was better than bringing one of their own cars and leaving it at the airport for a month. The whole taxi trip was spent with Draco in a huff and Harry trying to talk Draco out of said huff.

"It was just a shirt."

"That's not the point!"

"Well, it was either tell you to change or throw a fit in front of my parents, which, might I remind you, was the one thing you wanted me to stop you doing."

"I don't throw fits."

"Sure you don't, and what was that at my house then?"

"She wet my shirt! I hate people doing that, and you know it!"

"Don't I just …"

"And it was the second time today, and I just can't stand it when people ruin the precious material with their tears, do you know how many toxins there are in tears? A lot."

"Thank you Professor Malfoy, Draco, they're just tears, they'll wash out."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is your point?"

"… Ummm."

"My point exactly."

"Hey, you didn't let me finish!"

"Thought you were already."

Harry received a well deserved Malfoy Death Glare of doom™.

"Sorry."

"Good, what I'm trying to say is, is that you know I hate it when I get wet-"

"-Unless it's cum-"

"-Unless it's cum – hey!"

Harry grinned in reply.

"You dirty minded pole."

* * *

When the couple got to the airport, they had two hours to go until their flight left, which of course meant Draco shopping at the duty free shops while Harry got dragged along wishing he was sitting down somewhere sleeping.

Harry finally was able to drag Draco away for some food, deciding that eating food before they left would mean they didn't necessarily have to eat the in-flight food, which Harry knew by experience, wasn't the nicest thing to eat.

But before they could get some food, they first had to check in.

"Harry, do you have the passports?"

"Yes. I left them – wait."

"What?"

"They're not in my pocket where I left them!"

"WHAT?"

"Maybe I dropped them."

And with that Harry started frantically looking around him trying to locate the missing tickets.

"I knew this would happen, it happened two year ago when we went to Paris," Draco told the woman behind the check in table, who was looking rather irritated at Harry.

"Harry, hurry up, you're causing a traffic jam!"

"I can't find them!"

"You idiot! Where did you last see them?"

"They were in my pocket!'

"Your pocket?"

"Yes, on my coat!"

"Harry."

"What?"

"You're not wearing your coat, you dork."

"What? Oh, yeah …"

Draco and everyone else in the queue behind them laughed as a very red-faced Harry got the passports from his coat, which was on top of a suitcase, handed the passports to the woman behind the counter.

"Thank you sir," The woman said sharply, as she glared the air-hostesses 'I'm going to spit in your food' glare™

* * *

"That was funny Harry, you nerd!" Draco said, still laughing as they went into the passenger food court.

"Oh, shut up," Harry was still angry that what he did was typically a Draco kind of thing. He was meant to be the smart one who did things right! Draco was the stupid one who's only job in life is to look pretty! Why was everything changing now! Life is so not fair …

"Awww, don't get narky on me! I'm not spending an eight hour flight with you if you're going to be all huffy with me!"

"I'm not huffy with you; I'm huffy with the coat."

"Right."

* * *

"Calling flight A2547 (Hehe, random numbers!) To Antigua," the muffled voice announced.

"That's us," Harry said, getting up from the unusually comfortable airport chair while taking the magazine off Draco.

"I was reading that," Draco grumbled.

"Come on we're boarding," Harry said, yanking Draco up from the chair.

"Why aren't we moving yet?" Draco asked, looking around him as if there was a sign somewhere answering his question.

"We've only just sat down, they have to board everyone else onto the plane now as well," Harry said. (Did you honestly think Draco would let them sit in economy class?)

"Whatever," Draco said and, with that, started reading the magazine.

Harry meanwhile was enjoying all the luxuries that sitting in First class provided including a TV fixed in to the seat in front of him and free - he hoped - champagne.

"This isn't half bad," Harry commented.

"My father wouldn't let us use the jet," Draco told Harry.

"Oh?"

"Yes, last time there was a rather 'unfortunate' event in the jacuzzi, and he didn't want another police investigation," Draco said.

"Unfortunate?"

"As in there was, lets say, a few people 'taken care of'. All I can say about it really was that it lead to a rather messy investigation and a lot of Mafia involvement,"

"Oh."

"Exactly. We don't tend to mention it at family dinners."

"I can see why."

Draco only laughed in response and continued to read the latest scandals in celeb world.

* * *

"Harry, I feel sick," Draco said fifteen minutes later.

"Maybe you should stop reading and give your eyes a rest, that usually works for me," Harry said, not wanting Draco to spend the whole trip with a sick bag on his lap.

"I suppose," Draco said, while Harry tried to pry the magazine from Draco's fingers.

"Are we taking off yet?" Draco asked Harry after the magazine was taken off from him.

"There was an announcement a minute ago saying that they'll be a few minutes," Harry informed him.

"Oh."

Suddenly the engine turned on surprising a few people, but not Draco who by then was shouting 'let's go!' out the plane window.

"Draco we're going in a minute."

"But I want to go now!"

"In a minute!"

"Now!"

"You can't command the plane to go just because you want it to!"

"I can try."

"Try away."

Harry then proceeded to watch as Draco shut his eyes tightly and started to talk under his breath.

"This is going to be one hell of a ride," Harry muttered.

* * *

Well there you all go! And please don't forget to leave a review, I love hearing what you think about my work!


	2. Chapter 2 Communists & Egpytian Temples

Yes, yes I know, **3 years** …. It's been a long time, and a long time of me being out of fanfiction. (And the internet for that matter)

I'm going to have to mention a few things before I continue this:

1. When I wrote this I was 15 going on 16, I'm not 19, so obviously my writing style will be completely different

2. I'm much wiser to the world, believe me, I'm gong to try to stick to the humour that I used back then, but my humour has changed, it's now way more into the gutter! (Great says you!)

3. I will hopefully get back into fanfiction, I may write smaller one shots every so often just to get me back into the flow of things, and so please be patient

4. **Anyone looking for sex scenes off me for my other fics will not be able to get them**, I no longer have any of them, and in order to do this I may have to write them all over again, and that is something that will take me a while to be used to again.

5. Let's just say that I have …. Experience, in areas now, so my writing will be effected by that, it can either be really, really good, or really, really bad, who knows to be honest!

Right lets go!

Everything you may need to know is on the first chapter!!

* * *

**Chapter 2****: Of communists and Egyptian temples.**

"Harry?"

"Yes."

"Are you awake?"

"No."

This conversation went on for a good few hours after that.

Draco was bored, and we all know what happens when Draco gets bored. He huffed and sighed in the chair, annoyed that Harry was too wrapped up in sleeping to do anything with him. He made a great to-do about getting comfy and 'accidentally' poking Harry with his elbow.

Draco did not travel well, neither did he do sitting still for 8 hours well.

"Draco, stop moving."

"But I'm so bored!"

Harry felt something hit his head that strangely felt like a book. Harry begrudgingly opened his eyes. Turns out that in order for Draco to soothe his boredom he proceeded to build a castle upon Harrys shoulders and head using all sorts of playing cards, books, magazines, cigarette boxes and anything else he could get his hands on.

"What the -?"

Harry turned to look at Draco, which of course caused a chain reaction as the whole collection of Gossip Girl fell onto his head and lap. Harry clutched his head in silent agony while Draco looked on annoyed that his creation was destroyed.

"That took me an hour to make! Do you know what sort of people I had to bribe in order to get some of that stuff?! Economy people! That's who! Well at least I got a picture…"

Draco went through his pink sparkly phone for a minute and then turned it to face Harry; Harry took a look at the picture and couldn't help but to laugh a bit. The picture itself showed how Draco somehow managed to build some sort of Egyptian Temple on him; he had a bit of tinfoil for a swimming pool and everything, including using chocolate bars as statues.

Wait … chocolate bars?

Draco giggled when he saw the melted mess that covered Harry's legs and crotch.

"Whoops, that was an accident!" Draco insisted, trying to stop the massive grin that had spread across his face.

Harry just drew in a sharp breath and counted to a ten.

"Harry?"

"I'm going to clean this mess up." Harry said through gritted teeth.

"What's your problem?"

Harry just looked at him.

"Are you serious? You covered me in chocolate! Melted chocolate! I was just trying to sleep and next thing I know I'm like the bloody Cairo museum. Could you just not have read or something?!" Harry fumed, he was so angry, but was really trying to control it.

"Readings boring, you're fun to torture!"

"Well I don't enjoy it; if this trip is going to end up like a 'lets annoy Harry' fest then there will not be a holiday!" Harry snapped back. "I'm going to clean myself up!" and with that Harry got up (Showing a chocolate stained bottom) and stalked to the bathroom.

"Ah those jeans are only cheap knock offs anyway, don't see why you care so much."

Harry just put up the middle finger at him without looking back and continued along his way to the bathroom. The rest of the cabin in business class looked on amused, some trying to hold back their own laughter at the state of Harry.

"Wait until he sees the rest of my creation," Draco said to the middle aged woman sitting adjacent to him.

A sudden bang and one yell later Harry quickly emerged from the bathroom, fuming and partially covering his face.

"What did you do!?" Harry asked Draco exasperated, gesturing wildly like a wild man.

Draco couldn't hold it in anymore, he burst into laughter.

"It's not that funny!" Harry insisted.

Draco was now bent over, doubled with the pain in his sides from laughing.

"And he says I'm the drama queen!" Draco said to his new friend, the middle aged woman adjacent to him.

Harry sighed and went back into the bathroom.

Draco had somehow managed to draw a pair of big round glasses directly onto Harry's face, copying the type that Harry used to wear as a kid. He also drew a long curly moustache like handle bars. Harry also had a drawn on goatee, and to top it off … a monobrow. Harry also noticed how Draco drew on Harry's neck as well, giving him a vampire bite, a 5 o clock shadow and wrinkles. Draco had also wrote his name along Harry's fingers on each hand, and gave Harry what could only be described as My little Pony's biker tattoo, in other words a pony riding a motorcycle smoking a cigar across his chest.

Harry had to give it to him, he could draw!

When Harry tried to wipe off the marker he was only left with a big black smudge. Harry only really cared that he got his face and neck clean, which wasn't working and only really made him looked like he had lived in a coal mine for his whole life.

Half an hour later and he was still in there. Harry somehow managed to get most of the marker off; only around his mouth was it the worst because of the moustache that was drawn. He now had a vague resemblance to what the love child of Hitler's and Stalin's moustaches would look like.

A tentative knock on the door startled Harry.

"I'm sorry sir, but what are you doing? You've been in there for the past half an hour, please open the door."

Harry didn't know what to do.

"Sir?"

"Emmm … sorry I can't!"

"Have you got anyone in there with you?"

Shit, thought Harry, she must think that he's having some sort of mind blowing air plain sex, god if only …

"I can't come out!"

"If you don't come out then I will have to make you come out, sir, this kind of misconduct is not tolerated upon these airlines!"

"I'm not with anyone!"

"Sir, one more warning, can you and your … friend … please come out now before we try to break the door down."

"I'm not with anyone in here! My boyfriend is over in seat B2 go talk to him he will say the same!"

"I'll go check sir."

Harry sighed, thank god, not maybe finally she will leave him alone and he can try to get this horrid moustache off his face.

"Sir?"

"Yes? What did he say?"

"Sir you need to step out of the bathrooms, that young man had no idea who you were and said that he has never seen you in his life."

Harry wanted to punch something, very, very hard. Bloody Draco, the little manipulative bitch! Harry always knew that Draco would try to get him back after the shopping fiasco where Harry refused to buy him the expensive Dolce and Gabbana bag. Little did he knew how utterly evil Draco can be sometimes.

Hell hath no fury like a princess scorned, Harry thought.

"Sir we are now going to break into the bathroom now, we do believe that you are in there alone, but we may also believe that you are a threat to the security of this plane!"

Holy crap, they thought he was a terrorist! Harry didn't know what to do! He must go out and face being though of as a communist bastard or stay in the bathroom and get hauled away by the FBI.

"Sir!" The air hostess now had about 5 men with her, big, burley men, ready to break the door down.

Finally harry heard another voice.

"Ok Harry … you sorry now for giving out to me back there? And to deny me that bag?"

It was Draco, the little shit though Harry! He was punishing him for giving out to him!

"Did you set this up?" Harry shouted.

"Amazing what money can buy," Draco said back calmly. "Now, are you sorry? Because otherwise we really can call the FBI, your choice."

That man should work for the secret service, Harry thought, he could catch almost any criminal with his pure evilness and cunning.

Harry sighed; sometimes it just went too overboard!

"Ok, Draco I'm sorry."

"Ok now come out."

Harry sighed again. And he then proceeded to crack open the bathroom a tiny bit.

"I can't, I still have a bit of a problem left over from your art work."

"Oh it can't be that bad, let's have a look."

"I'm not coming out, you come in."

Draco looked at him. "Right ok, move let me in."

Draco squeezed into the tiny cubicle somehow managing to get through the small gap in the door that Harry has opened.

"Oh my god Harry! You look like a fascist!" Draco exclaimed, shocked.

"Shhhh!" Harry shushed hurriedly, covering Draco's mouth. "This is why I didn't want to come out, I can't get it off."

"Crap, right, well I have some makeup wipes if you want to try them, way better than just using water and horrible pieces of cardboard they call toilet paper. One minute." And with that Draco squeezed himself back out.

Harry signed again, sometimes Draco annoyed him so much with his antics, after three years however Harry knew that despite everything that Draco would do to him, at the end of the day it is harmless, Draco is very naive as to how people will react sometimes. Draco would also always try to get him out of whatever situation he would get Harry into. Harry loved him, and he knew that Draco loved him back, and, really, Harry would go through any sort of hell that Draco may create just to stay with him. And Harry knew that Draco would jump through fire, and risk getting his hair burnt, and also risk getting his newly manicured nailed chipped if it meant that Harry was safe and happy.

God, though Harry, they did have a strange relationship.

"Harry?" Draco was back, Harry moved back a bit to let Draco back in.

"Here, this should get it off; I didn't know that it would have smudged like that! It is pretty funny though, I do have to say!" Draco said, pulling out one of the wipes.

Draco then started to wipe at Harry's face with both a gentleness and kindness. Harry thought that Draco really would make a great mother, but he relented to say it to Draco as it would result in a temper tantrum and a putting Draco for the rest of the trip.

Harry watched Draco's face as Draco continued to try to get the marker off. It was like he had never seen him like this before; Harry took in everything that he could, from the light blonde eyelashes to the way his lips curved up slightly. It was very surreal to Harry, as if he was seeing Draco in a new light; the more he studied Draco's face the more he became entranced. The way he furrowed his eyebrows as he concentrated on getting a stubborn bit off, the way he subconsciously bit his bottom lip with his perfect white teeth, even his perfectly tweezed eyebrows. He was more perfect not to Harry than ever before, and it amazed Harry at just how much love he felt for the smaller man in front of him.

Harry looked at Draco's eyes, at all the colours mixed together to make the slight greyish tint. He watched how Draco's pupils contracted and retracted as he focused on different parts of Harry's face. He loved how when Draco does not wear makeup, or any sort of product on his face for that matter, he just looked so soft and gentle, which Harry knew of course could sometimes be the complete opposite. The whiteness of Draco's eyelashes only made the colours of his eyes more dramatic, with nothing to frame them or to distract from them; Harry could easily have found himself getting lost in them

Harry felt a jolt in his chest when those eyes suddenly made contact with his own curious ones.

"Can I help you? You've been staring at me for the past ten minutes," Draco said with a smile.

"You're gorgeous, you know that!" Harry declared, suddenly grabbing Draco into a knee trembling kiss, pouring all his love into that kiss as if without it, he would not survive.

"I love you," Harry said when he finally found the control to pull away.

"I love you to, you big ld romantic!" Draco said laughing, still holding onto Harry with his arms. Draco rested his head against Harry's chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Wow Harry if I'd have known that a little bit of pen could do this then I'm doing it more often!" Draco said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Harry stepped away, and smiled at Draco.

"We really should go before someone really does think we have joined the mile high club!"

"Can we?"

"No, I've already been in here far longer than I want to!" Harry said laughing.

Draco pouted; he didn't like to be denied and sort of sexual activity.

Harry lifted Draco's chin up, kissed him once more on the lips as if to reassure him.

"When we get to the hotel room we can do whatever you want to do!" Harry promised, looking into those eyes again.

"And where..?" Draco asked hopefully.

"And where." Harry said laughing.

Somehow he knew that the hotel staff is going to hate cleaning up their room after they have been done with it.

* * *

Right so there we have it, please excuse any mistakes, I am very tired haha it is half 4 in the morning and I've been up since 6!

Please R&R and I will update soon!

It really does feel great to be back!

Thanks for sticking with me!


	3. Chapter 3 New And Old Friends reunite!

Ok long time no see, but I did say that I'm back and continuing!

Lucky for all of you I'll be starting my second year of college soon and will have loads of time to kill haha!

My internet has been down for a few days, which is why It has taken so long, never realised how dependant I was on the net haha, had to rely on my friends, boyfriend and animals to amuse me ... oh the horror!

Right lets get this going.

Oh on a second note, I don't have MS word ... I'm using some free trial called Ability Write, so that might excuse any possible problems I might experience while writing this!

**Chapter 3**

Harry was more than glad to get off the plane, he was sore and in good need of a stretch (And some deodorant according to Draco), but at least he was clean!

Harry looked over to Draco, who of course looked perfect, although that could be because he spend the last half an hour in the airplane bathroom, alone might I ad, fixing himself up.

Harry sighed, he was so tired, it was a long flight, and unlike Draco, wasn't born practically on a plane. He wanted a good breakfast and a good sleep. Unlike Draco, who was filled up with almost squirrel like energy, and was in danger of dragging Harry off to a funfair or something.

"How are we getting to the hotel?" Harry asked Draco, who was eyeing up some shops dangerously, a glint of want and lust in his eyes that Draco only ever reserved for shops. Ever.

Draco begrudgingly looked back at Harry, "Oh ... I think we're getting the limo, my dad said that he had a chauffeur organised, or something along those lines. Good thing to, I'm not taking a smelly bus."

"Wow it's hot here isn't it!" Harry said fanning himself, "Hopefully the limo will have air conditioning!"

Draco looked at him, "It's a bloody limo, it better have air conditioning! I Wonder about you sometimes, come on, let's go have a look in some shops!"

And with that, Harry found himself being dragged towards the first class restaurants and shops.

"Draco, we shouldn't go shopping! The chauffeur is waiting!" Harry pleaded, trying to get Draco to change his mind.

"Ah he can wait, he knows better than to leave me, my dad would have him shot! Anyway, he's just an employee, his job is to service me! Kinda like you Harry!"

"He better not service you like me!"

"You are so jealous, anyway, he couldn't satisfy me like you do, wrinkles don't look good on me!"

* * *

After about two hours of being dragged around shops, Harry almost sang the Hallelujah chorus when Draco suggested that they got some food. With a chorus of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, Harry dragged Draco towards the nearest pizza place.

"Eugh, Don't tell me you're getting pizza! The amount of carbs and spots in that is unbelievable!" Draco said in horror as he watched some incredible spotty, greasy skinned kid being handed a 12" pizza over the counted.

"You don't wanna look like him!" Draco declared, pointing at said kid.

The spotty kid looked very hurt, it wasn't his fault he had bad skin! And anyway, only about 1% of the population can afford the best skin care creme around, which guaranteed you look 20 until you are 80, unfortunately, Draco falls in the category.

Harry saw the upset look on the spotty, greasy skinned kids face and quickly shot him an apologetic look. He then turned to Draco.

"That wasn't nice at all!"

"I don't live to be nice Harry, I was only pointing out what will happen if you eat pizza. There's a reason why kids with lots of spots and horrible stuff on their face are called 'Pizza face'. Think about it." Draco pointed out.

"Draco, you are so mean! Just apologize to that poor kid, you'll give him a complex!"

"Ah he's gone!" Draco said with an aloof brush of the hand.

"He's right beside you!"

"Oh" Draco turned to look at the poor kid who was standing next to him, tears welling up in his eyes. Draco visibly cringed when he spotted a white head about to explode, which made Harry give Draco a good poke in the side.

"Owww, you shit!"

Harry nodded to the kid.

"Oh right fine" And with that Draco got a briefcase from his bag, a big silver briefcase, with an array of locks. He brought the kid to the nearest table and opened the case, which took about ten minutes. When Draco finally cracked open the case a bright, almost heavenly light shone from inside it. Draco opened it more, and invited the kid to have a look. Inside there were so many diamonds, rubies, emeralds, gold, silver, platnuim, you name it, that the kid's eyes almost exploded out of his head. Harry just shook his head, bribery was Draco's new thing.

"You can have either one from the bottom, or two from the top." Draco said diplomatically.

* * *

Around twenty minutes and a very happy kid wearing a 3 carat diamond bracelet later, Harry finally managed to get his pizza.

It did take a lot of negotiations however where he agreed that if he got even one spot, he had to wear a brown paper bag when they had sex with a picture of Justin Timberlake on the bag, and Draco got to shave his name in Harry's pubes. It was a chance Harry was willing to take.

"How did you manage to get cheese everywhere!" Draco shouted when he saw the utter state of Harry, who even managed to get cheese in his hair!

"I got the mega cheesey meal with extra cheese." Harry said through a mouthful of stringy cheese.

Draco gagged, it was a well known fact that Malfoy's do not like cheese, in fact they loath cheese.

* * *

Finally after about three hours in the airport, they finally headed towards the chauffeur, Harry was almost certain that the poor old man would be gone and they would be greeted by a skeleton, which would be cool, Harry though, if not a little bit morbid.

"Oh. My. God!" It was Draco that broke Harry from his musings about skeleton limo drivers and playing bone ping pong.

Before Harry could ask what, his answer came in a swirl of squealing and laughing.

"Hermione!" Draco squealed when he saw her, she was just comping out of the nearest bookshop, some things never change.

"Draco!" Hermione squealed right back.

"What on earth are you doing here! Though you were going to some book camp thingy."

"I was meant to be a councillor, yea, but then a big hurricane hit that area! I have the summer off!"

"You lucky cow! Where are you off to?"

"Barbados, with Blaise!" Hermione said, grabbing her bewildered boyfriend Blaise. They were still together after their rather un conventional get together in Paris last year, during that god forsaken road trip.

Blaise nodded at harry laughing, "Never thought I'd see you here, I never want to travel with blondie here ever again!" Blaise laughed.

"Fuck off" Draco retorted, but then went back to chatting with Hermione.

"Where are you off to?" Blaise asked Harry.

"Antigua, it should be fun, how about you?" Harry replied, happy to see a normal person.

"Barbados! Only a little bit away from you."

"Draco! You have to come over to us! It's not only going to be me and Blaise, we are going to Pansy's parents new summer home! It's going to be Pansy, Ron, Ron's sister, her boyfriend, And one of mine, Harry and Ron's old friends!" Hermione told Draco excitedly.

"Pansy the bitch! She never told me! Oh I'm so gunna steal her make up now" Draco sulked.

"She didn't know until yesterday! You two were well gone by then! Me and Blaise were gunna stay at a hotel until she rang us at the airport! She wasn't leaving you out, she was raging because she couldn't get through to you!" Hermione explained.

"Oh right! Ok I suppose her make up will be ok ... for now ..." Draco said mysteriously.

"Oh my god! Draco! You have to come to! You can finally meet more of our friends, Ron's sister, and her boyfriend! It will be great, you havn't met any of them yet! Oh you should come! There will be a room for you an Harry as well, with an en suite!"

"That would be brilliant! I would love that! I just have to try to convince Mr. Grumpy over there though" Draco said pointing to Harry.

Hermione looked over to Harry, and then back to Draco. She made some sort of undistinguishable hand signal, and then looked towards Harry again. Draco nodded, he understood.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaary ....." Both Hermione and Draco crooned.

Harry new that tone, oh god did he know that tone. He looked over to some of the best kicked puppy dog faces he had ever seen.

He sighed.

"What?"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaary ... it would be so nice of you if we could change our plans for a bit," Draco said, batting his eyelashes and trying to look as cute as possible.

Harry sighed as well.

"You want us to go to Barbados, because Pansy has a new holiday home, with Ron, Ron's sister, Ron's sister's boyfriend, an old friend of mine who remains anonymous, and Blaise and Hermione. You want us to not go to our hotel, because we can get our deposit back and not have to worry about any other hotel charges. We will also get our own room, with an en suite bathroom which is even larger and better quality that our original choice of hotel." Harry said quickly.

Draco batted his eyelashes again, "Exactly."

Harry was torn, while he would be thrilled to see Ron and Blaise and Ginny's boyfriend again, he also wanted to get some alone time with Draco as well, which was the point of the trip.

"We can spend loads of alone time as well Harry, they have jacuzzis!" Draco said with a wink, as if he read Harry's mind, Harry wouldn't put it past him.

"Oh please Harry! We can go to that hotel another time! Please! I'll give you at least five blowjobs a day! please!"

That made Harry really think, what 19 year old boy would refuse five blowjobs a day.

"I'll also let you do that thing that I hate but that you love!" Draco pleaded.

Hermione and Blaise were rather amused at Draco's bargaining style, obviously, Harry is going to be getting a lot of action despite where they go.

Draco waited with bated breath for Harry's answer.

"Ok, we can go to Barbados, but-" Harry said to interrupt a cheering Draco and Hermione "-You have to wear those swimming shorts that I like" harry said to Draco.

"The pink skimpy ones?" Draco asked,

Harry nodded.

"Deal." And with that they shook on it.

* * *

Hermione, Draco, Harry and Blaise all climbed into the waiting limo. After about 4 hours, the poor driver was at his wits end, but after a very generous tip from Draco, he was more than Happy to bring them to the new change of destination.

"I really should tell my father that I'm not going there anymore." Draco said absent mindedly. He pulled out his phone and dialed his father's number.

"Hi dad! Guess what change of plan .... ..... no I was - ......... No I said - ......... no tell him - ........... yea but - .................. I'll text - ................ no he didn't say - ............. I'll text you - ................. you are so mean - .................. bye .................. I hate saying it - ............... fine, I love you. Bye - .................... No I said not to touch it - ............... don't look in there - ................... ugh whatever - ............. I'll say what - ............... bye dad."

And with that he hung up.

"No mention of Barbados then?" Harry pointed out.

"I'll text it to him, can't talk to the man! It's like talking to a brick wall! He wants me to do a photoshoot for his latest hotel advertisements, thinks that it will make girls want to come. I told him that I would do it, he wants me to sit nude ontop of a llama, but apparently the photographer said I did, he just fancies me that's why he said it, and now I think I have to do it! oh life is so unfair!" Draco exclaimed melodramatically.

"A llama, whatever is next....." Hermione laughed.

"He wanted Harry to wear only a kilt whilst playing the bongos" Draco pointed out.

"Oi!! That was a secret you little shit!" Harry shouted, giving Draco a light swat accross the head.

"I wan't going to do it ..." Harry said to the rest of the car, getting redder and redder.

"Lucious really likes his nude advertisements doesn't he" Hermione pointed out.

"He does a kind of 'Benetton' type of advertisements, shock, shock, and shock some more. It's called shock advertisement!" Draco informed her.

"You don't say." Blaise said, shaking his head to himself.

* * *

"We will be nearing the house soon, Mr. Malfoy." The chauffeur told Draco.

"Thank god! I need to change my clothes!" Draco declared, "I've been wearing them for almost 12 hours now!"

When the pulled into the driveway of the summer house Harry, Hermione and Blaise looked at the house in awe, it was massive, It was two storeys high, but was incredibly long, it easily held around 20 people living there comfortably, never mind 9 teens.

"Oh my god it's fabulous!" Hermione exclaimed.

Draco yawned "Yea, yea, can we go inside now, I need to wee!"

"Draco not everyone grew up with such grandeur" Harry said, "This house is massive for a summer house."

"Whatever, it's a house! My car garage is about the size of this house!"

"We really need to go to Malfoy Manor" Blaise whispered to Harry.

When they got to the door, Pansy and Ron were waiting outside for them.

"Harry, Draco don't get out yet, I wanna surprise Pansy, she doesn't know you are coming!" Hermione said to the couple.

When Hermione and Blaise stepped out Pansy gave a shriek and ran and gave Hermione a huge hug. Blaise, just nodded at Ron.

"Hermione! I havn't seen you in ages!" Pansy said, still hugging Hermione.

"It was only a week." Hermione pointed out.

"A week too long!"

"Never mind that, Pansy I brought you a present!" Hermione said to Pansy cryptically.

"Ohhh I love presents!" Pansy Said clapping her hands.

"You're going to love this one! Wait here."

Hermione walked back to the car to get Harry and Draco, she brought out Harry first, Pansy gave another high pitched shriek and gave Harry a huge bear hug, almost making Harry's eyes bulge out.

"Pansy, please let go of my boyfriend" Draco said cooly from behind her.

Pansy game a scream that could have woken the dead, she turned around, swiftly dumping Harry and shrieked 'Draco' and gave him such a big hug that they both ended up on the ground.

"YOU!" Pansy screamed, while hugging Draco tightly.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Blaise laughed at them, especially when Pansy climbed on top of Draco, straddling him and started to cover him in hugs and kisses. Ron shook his head, and gave both Hermione and Harry a big hug.

"Thank god you are here." He whispered into Harry's ear when he was hugging him. "I'm at wits end!"

Harry laughed.

"Pansy please get off him now, anybody would think you were raping him." Ron shouted at his girlfriend who was still straddling Draco on the dirt hugging him.

"You just jealous Ron because I get action from both boys and girls!" Draco shouted back when he could catch his breath from Pansy's hugs.

"It's gunna be a long holiday" Ron muttered. Harry and Blaise laughed.

* * *

Pansy finally got off him, after both Harry and Blaise dragged her off.

"I think she bruised me!" Draco said after Harry picked him up from the ground. And true to his word he had a big bruise at his rib where Pansy had hugged him too hard.

"Pansy! You slut! You bruised me!" Draco shouted to Pansy.

"Awww I'm sorry Draco, let me hu - " Pansy said going towards him with her arms wide open again.

"NO!" Draco screamed, and grabbed Harry, and pulled him in front of him as protection.

"Protect me," Draco said to Harry. Harry just laughed.

"Lets go inside" Harry suggested.

"Yea lets, Ginny is inside with her no good boyfriend" Ron said Darkly. Everyone knew that Ron was very protective of his sister. And Seamus Finnegan, Ginny's no good boyfriend was at the top of Ron's hit list, right beside Draco.

"I have not seen Ginny in months" Hermione said to Draco, who never met the girl before. "Don't worry Draco, she's harmless!"

Inside the house and in the sitting room it was very obvious who Ron's sister was. She has the same fiery red hair as Ron, the same freckles as Ron and the same facial features as Ron.

"I never knew Ron was a clone" Draco whispered to Harry when he saw her. Harry chuckled quitely to himself but then shushed Draco. Draco decided it would be best just to keep his mouth shit for the time being, he got the feeling that harry didn't want him to be too forward with his friends just yet.

Here is my sister Ginny" Ron said, introducing her, she waved hello to the newcomers, and blushed slightly when she saw Harry. Draco noticed this and inhaled air sharply. That bitch was after his man!

"Here is her boyfriend Seamus" Ron then said, indicating towards a tall, pale man who was beside Ginny. He has dark sandy blonde hair and Green eyes.

(A/N, the lad who plays Seamus in the films lived 5 mins away from me, he does competitive showjumping .. but you all dindn't know that!)

"Hiya, pleased to meet ya!" Seamus said with a very obvious Irish accent.

"Hiya Harry! Long time no see!" He said when he noticed Harry, Harry grinned at his old school friend, it was a long time.

"And Here is Neville" Ron said, nodding towards a clueless looking boy who had just walked in.

"Neville!" Both Harry, Hermione and Blaise exclaimed when they saw him.

"Havn't seen you in ages!" Hermione said, Harry and Blaise nodded in agreement.

"Yea ... I was doing some volunteer work after school ...." Neville said, Draco sensed that this boy was quite shy and introverted, uh - oh!

"Always knew you'd do something like that Neville!" Harry said clapping the chap on the back.

Harry then turned to Draco.

"This is an old friend of mine from school, we've known each other before that though, since we were 5 our parents were friends, but he now lives with his grandmother, very unfortunate accident with his parents, keep it hushed." Harry whispered to Draco with a warning in his eye. Draco nodded, he wasn't so heartless that he would go slagging a man abut looking his parents.

Harry then turned to the room, Ginny and Seamus were looking at Draco with curiosity, they had never seen him before, but reckoned that he was just a friend of Pansy's or Harry.

"This is Draco," Harry said, when he saw their glances towards him. "My boyfriend."

Both Ginny and Seamus sent each other a look, that was unexpected. They both knew Harry was Gay, but this man that he had brought with him was not what they imagined Harry to go for. This man had manicured nails for heavens sake!

"Pleased to meed you" Ginny said after a while, shaking Draco's hand, a little harder than Draco expected was friendly.

Draco gave her a winning smile and replied "You too," while adding even more grip to the hand shake, waiting for Ginny to back down. She did very begrudgingly, discreetly giving Draco a challenging glance of the eye, Draco winked at her, 'it's so on bitch' he though.

Seamus was more friendly, clapping Draco on the back and declaring that he was welcome to the family.

Draco very discreetly brushed off the invisible dirt that Seamus left on his jumper, the Irish man just did not look clean.

Neville was in shock, he didn't know Harry was gay, having not been around when harry came out. He was preparing for his volunteer work.

"Is that ok Neville? I didn't mean to tell you like that, but yea that's how it is." Harry said shrugging, looking at Neville apologetically.

That seemed to snap Neville out of his thoughts.

"Of course it is Harry! Sorry! It just came as a bit of a shock! Neville said laughing, giving Harry a hug. "Just as long as you are Happy I'm happy!"

Draco watched this, glad that one of Harry's oldest friends accepted Harry.

Neville turned towards Draco, gave him a once over and then gave Draco a hug as well, which Draco did not expect.

"Pleasure to meet you!" Neville said when he pulled back. Draco was still in shock, so he only managed a nod.

Harry was happy that everyone accepted Draco, although they have not seen what Draco is capable of. Harry was very pleased to see that Draco was on his best behavior, he had learned that Harry's friends need time to get used to him. A lot of people are only getting used to the fact that Harry is gay, they don't need some man that flounces around giving out about his hair every ten minutes.

"Harry, I'm just going to run to the bathroom, it was nice to meet you all!" Draco said, and with a quick word to Pansy he left the room. Hermione laughed a bit, she knew how awkward Draco can feel despite his confidence.

"Well what do you all think of him?" Harry asked when Draco left.

"He's .... nice," Ginny said. Pansy and Hermione shared a look, they knew all about Ginny's infatuation with Harry, and just won'y accept that he's gay.

"I like him, he looks to be great fun!" Seamus said, breaking the ice a little. Ron snorted.

"You have no idea mate."

"Yep" Pansy said laughing. "Should give you a bit of a warning about Draco, despite what you first impressions were, erase them. You may think he's normal but he's not, Lady and gentlemen, you are about to witness the strangest few weeks of your life here."

Hermione laughed at Pansy's 'introduction to Draco' speech. She's heard it a few times. That must have been what Draco whispered to Pansy before he left.

Harry laughed as well. His friends have no idea what to expect now.

Hermione decided that Pansy was leaving too much of a dramatic pause so she continued on. "Draco, is a narcissistic, egotistical, opinionated rich kid, you will soon discover, we don't touch the hair, the clothes, the nails or the face. He has a superiority complex, and I'm afraid is a bit of a exhibitionist."

Harry laughed, and nodded when Neville and Seamus look at him disbelieving.

Pansy continued, "Our Harry here is the only one with a bit of control over him," She laughed. "He doesn't like to hear how short he is either."

Ron snorted, he learned about that the hard way.

Seamus laughed, "You certainly know how to pick them Harry!"

Harry smiled back at him "Oh I do."

Ginny looked a bit green.

* * *

OK that's chapter 3! Enjoy! I'm going to try get chapter 4 out very soon! Until then have fun and don't forget to review!


	4. Chapter 4 Of Fights and 'Homo'cides

And I'ts me again haha, I'm really getting into this now, keep getting bugged by ideas! Everytime I go to bed, I have millions of little ideas in my head!

Right let's go! I'm speeding through chapters at the moment!

**There will be smut in the chapter! yayness!! I don't post these as a rule because once took my stories off! So email me to go it!**

And there will be some het conversations and situations... just in case I didn't warn you all enough!

**Chapter 4. Of Fights and 'Homo'-cidal maniacs.**

That evening Harry, Blaise, Seamus and Neville were sitting in the living room playing Ron's new playstation 3, Resident Evil 5 to be exact. Ron was in the adjacent kitchen cooking dinner. Ron sure does love his food!

Hermione, Draco, Pansy and Ginny were sitting at the dining room behind the living room sofa, discussing their sex lives and more importantly, sharing hair and make up tips.

"So Ginny ... tell me something about yourself?" Draco asked, he had made an appearance a few minutes before hand and didn't have much chance to meet Harry's other friends.

"Well what do you want to know?" Ginny asked, she decided she was going to see how Draco is before she made up her mind about him. Sure Harry isn't gay anyway, he is just experimenting a little bit. She may as well give Draco the benefit of the doubt, poor thing, he will be heartbroken soon when Harry realises how much he loved her on this holiday.

"Whatever really, I just want to see if you will be as fun as Hermione or Pansy here. People that I talk to must be fun. Tell me are you willing to partake in our very in debt and personal conversations about what your boyfriend is like in bed and what not?"

Ginny went so red that she looked like a giant tomato, Pansy snorted and then laughed, making Ron looked up worriedly. Pansy just shook her head and continued to laugh.

"I don't really like to give out information like that, I like to keep my secrets ..." Ginny replied.

"Ah come on, there's no secrets between friends, I do believe that Pansy could write a book better that the Karma Sutra after me!" Draco continued. He knew he was embarrassing her, and he didn't really care to be quite honest.

"Draco, a lady never tells," Pansy reminded him.

"Pansy none of us are ladies here" Draco reminded.

Pansy Laughed yet again, even Hermione had to laugh at that.

"Unless you count a brothel mistress, that's the closest you'll ever get to a lady anyway Pansy ... Hermione ... possibly a slutty air hostess."

"Draco! I do not own a brothel!" Pansy yelled, probably a bit louder that she meant to.

"Who's going to a brothel?" Both Blaise and Ron said at the same time.

"No I'm just telling your girlfriend, Weasley, that in order for her to be a lady, she would have to be a mistress at a brothel, oh she tells me things Weasley, or should I say ... freckle Bum?" Draco said with a laugh.

Ron dropped the saucepan that he was currently drying off after washing it.

"What did you call me?" Ron said leering at Draco.

"Freckle. Bum" Draco said sitting back on the chair with a smug grin.

"Don't call me that again you little prick."

"I'll call you what I want ... freckle bum."

The other teens all looked among each other, Pansy, Hermione, Harry and Blaise were pretty much nonchalant about the whole thing, but Ginny, Seamus and Neville were a little unsure. They kept silent, waiting to see how this would unfold.

"Fuck you Malfoy!"

"Oh did I touch on a personal subject just there?"

"Fuck off, I know stuff about you too!"

"Oh really? Why must you always curse, freckle bum, it's not very nice! All these nice people here are just trying to relax and your foghorn for a mouth is ruining all of this."

Ron was now near the dining table and Draco was still sitting down, rather relaxed about the whole thing with his feet up on the table. He threw a small grin at Pansy, Pansy couldn't help but laugh quietly to herself.

"You are the one that started all of this! Believe me I will get you back! I know stuff about you!" Ron said fuming.

"Give it your best shot" Draco said, he got a nail file out and started filing. "I'm listening, tell the world my deepest dark secrets."

"I know that you have your favorite teddy bear that you still sleep with -"

"Oh Tedzer? He's with me now sure!"

"When you were little you used to wear your mother's dress and stuff socks down the front to give you tits -"

"What gay man hasn't?"

"You once wore Pansy's knickers because you had none of your own -"

"Her's are way more comfy if you ask me."

"You once had sex with a 38 year old man to get drink."

"Well I got the drink didn't I? Pansy did the same. These arn't really deep dark secrets."

"Fuck you, at least I'm not a midget!"

The whole room went silent. Even resident evil 5 was paused. Harry mouthed 'oh no' to Seamus, Neville and Blaise, while Hermione and Pansy dashed to grab Draco.

Draco went red, and before Pansy and Hermione could get to him he stood up and stood face to face with Ron. Which was quite a feat seeing as Ron was 6'4 of lankiness.'

"Fuck you Weasley, you small cocked shit!" Draco screamed right into Ron's face.

Ron seemed to suddenly realise what he had just said and seemed to be saying a silent prayer.

"You are such a fucking low life Weasley, I'm gunna fuck you up!"

Harry took that as his cue to come to Ron's rescue.

"Draco - "

"Fuck off it's between me and ginger pubes here, he has the nerve to call me short and he won't even fight back. I may be small Weasley, but it doesn't mean that I won't be able to kick your ass into the ground."

"Draco, stop, leave Ron alone he's an idiot."

Draco then turned to Harry, meaning that his starting competition was broken with Ron, Ron looked towards to three girls for help.

"Harry" Draco said, "He is an ignorant bastard! you know how much I hate people saying that! It's not my fault, it's genetics! Genetics can't be messed with yet, it's not fair. He's just a lanky fuck."

"Draco it's not that bad, I love your height remember? It makes no difference to me or anyone that matters!" Harry said bringing Draco into a hug while mentioning for Ron to run when Draco wasn't looking.

"Weasley's just an old freckle bum" Draco said into Harry's shoulder. Harry, and the rest, except Ron of course sniggered.

"Yes he is," Harry said with a wink at Ron, who threw up his hands in annoyance.

"And I could have killed him, I'm trained to do it. One touch and he would have been on the ground."

"I know you are."

"Fuck arse."

Harry laughed, "Where did you come up with that?"

"Dunno ."

Pansy and Hermione started laughing as well.

"Draco you are such a minx!" Pansy said through laughs.

*********************

About half an hour later, everything had calmed down again. The newcomers, had just experienced their very first Draco episode, and Harry could almost promise them 1000% that there will be another one.

But for now, peace has been restored. Ron was back in his comfort zone, in other words the kitchen. With a very sore ego, but that's it, if Draco's threats were anything to go by. Ron wouldn't put it past him.

Resident Evil was back on, this time with a very out of character Draco having a go. Harry, Blaise, Seamus and Neville all looked on bemused as Draco practically annihilated all the zombies in his path. The boy was good, they'd give them that.

"Draco?" Pansy said from the dining room table.

"What? Ahhh die you fuck!!" Draco said when he point blank shot a zombie in the head with a shotgun.

"How do you stick on gel nails again? We're showing Ginny and the instructions are all in foreign!"

"You take the nail out, leave the front part on it makes it easier. Get the glue, stick it in the middle of your nail, only, any more and it'll come out the edges of the nail. Then get the nail, press it on firmly now, hold it for about thirty seconds, then let go, make sure it is on secure, and then repeat with all fingers. Once that is one, clip of the little tongue that the nails have, and file down the left over the the tongue, and then file to you desired length." Draco said, not missing a beat while he completely destroyed about fifty zombies with a machine gun.

The four boys looked at each other.

"Harry, my minds being fucked with ... here is a boy who is like a hundred times better than us playing a zombie game, giving out make up tips while practically completely finishing the level by blowing up said zombies into pieces ..." Seamus said.

"Oh believe me Seamus" Harry said, "You mind will be fucked with even more by the end of this holiday" Harry laughed.

"Oh yea right in the head!" Draco yelled when he blasted some horrible looking alien thing right between the eyes.

"Nothing like a bit of shooting to make you feel the testosterone running! I feel so manly I could almost fuck a woman right now! Pansy, Hermione! bedroom! Threesome! Now!" Draco shouted, throwing down the remote control with a scream and grabbing Pansy and Hermione and leaving the room.

"Ok ..." Blaise said. "Harry arn't you a bit worried about that?"

Harry laughed. "Draco would get to a pair of breasts and wouldn't know what to do with them, he couldn't dominate a house fly!"

Blaise laughed. "Now I no why you like him Harry, you dirty dog you." Harry laughed.

"Pansy will try it though ..." Ron pointed out.

"Yep probably, she really does like to get Draco naked ..." Harry said, "She once stripped him down and made him dance in order to get his clothes back."

Blaise and Ron laughed. That was so Pansy.

And as if on cue a scream could be heard, and suddenly in comes running a practically naked Draco, save for his pink underware, followed by another scream of "I'll find you Draco!" Which was unmistakenly Pansy.

"Ewww she's all squishy! You can have her Ron, I don't like girls anymore." Draco said, panting.

Harry laughed, "See?"

"Oh shit she's coming, hide me!" Draco said, jumping onto Harry's lap.

Harry would have been a lier if he said that he wasn't enjoying that a little bit. Especially when Draco moved every so often to look for Pansy. Harry really did like those underware.

Harry sat back and put his hands behind his head. "hide away Draco" he said laughing.

"What?" Draco asked, and then he realised what Harry was implying. "Harry you horny fuck, I'm about to be assaulted here, I'm not handing out free lapdances."

Harry laughed at his friends embarrassed faces, to be quite honest, Harry didn't care one bit what they though at this stage. He may as well enjoy himself while he can.

"Then why arn't you getting up, oh lady of the dance?" Harry asked laughing.

Before Draco could come up with a retort a loud "There you are!" was heard from the door way.

Everyone turned around to see Pansy standing there in her bra and knickers. She was laughing and panting at the same time. Ron didn't really appreciate other boys, even if they were his friends or gay, looking at her.

"You got to second with me Draco, you better finish the deed!" She screamed.

"Oh shit!" Draco paled and ran for it.

Hermione entered the dining room, thankfully fully dressed Blaise thought. She went over and sat beside Blaise.

"How did you escape the clutches of Draco and Pansy?" Blaise asked.

"I told Draco that I like my man in control, he immediately ran the other way" She laughed.

A loud thump from behind, brought Hermione's and Blaise's attention back to the drama at hand.

Pansy now had Draco running around the dining room table, with her in hot pursuit.

"I'll touch you back!" Pansy promised chasing him around the dining table, Ginny sat at the table bemused, she didn't really know what to think about the situation.

"I don't wanna be touched back!" Draco replied, running.

"Ah come on you'll love it!"

"No unless you have a cock and a set of balls get away from me!"

"You're such a tease!"

"I can't help my animal magnetism!"

Soon they both stopped, both of them gasping for breath. Draco sprawled on the ground with Pansy resting her head on his stomach.

"that was fun." Draco said.

"Yep."

"Do you take credit card?"

"Only from you honey!"

***********************

Once Pansy and Draco got dressed. And calmed down, it was time for dinner. Ron had cooked up some spaghetti bolognaise which went down with everyone. Ginny and Seamus, Draco noticed, were acting very coupley, but Ginny kept shooting glances at Harry as if to see was he watching or jealous or something. Draco narrowed his eyes a bit, but at least he knew that Harry was still in his own dream world thinking about what he was going to do to Draco that night. Draco had that sort of effect on people.

Draco still wondered about this Ginny girl however, he had to find some background information on her... but how ... he would find a way, he always does.

He must have looked lost in though because Harry placed his hand on his upper thigh and looked at him with concern.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked quitely.

"Nope, just thinking about stuff!" Draco covered, he was not about to tell Harry his suspicions and his plans on killing Ms. Weasley just yet.

Harry kept his hand on Draco's thigh, which Draco was very aware of. He was right with what he said earlier on, Harry was a horny fuck, but then again, Draco was more than willing to sort that out.

Draco made eye contact with Harry and mouthed 'After Dinner' and winked at Harry, which seemed to really please Harry.

**************

Hermione was watching all of her friends at the table, it was very interesting to see how everyone interacted with each other. She was also noticing how Ginny kept looking at Harry, despite having her boyfriend right beside her.

Hermione sighed, sometimes that girl just cannot give up. Hermione knew that Ginny was Harry's ex girlfriend, everyone knew that, except Draco it would seem, Hermione made a mental note to tell him.

Ginny never got over Harry, Hermione mused, they went out for only 4 months, and Harry went out with a few girls after her, and she went out with a few boys, but Ginny never got over Harry. He stayed in her heart and brain like an annoying itch. Hermione knew that Ginny would do anything to get back at Harry, and to try win him back. It was a bit sad, though Hermione, as the girl didn't even accept that Harry was gay, even when he introduced her to his ex boyfriends. She just never accepted it, and now here she was eyeing up Harry with Draco right there. Hermione knew that Draco wouldn't stand for it, he does know that something is up with her, he was too intuitive not to know. It was only a matter of guessing how he would approach the issue with her.

Hermione looked at Draco, accross the table form her, who looked strangely thoughtful, and was surprisingly very quiet. Which was not like him at all. Even Harry noticed and called him on it. It was very strange in Hermione's opinion, it was definitely got to do with Ginny however, with that she knew it. He obviously knows that Ginny likes Harry, but what else does he know? She must tell him, Hermione though, he deserved to know.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Blaise asked, interrupting Hermione's thoughts.

"Was just thinking about Ginny, she's at it again," Hermione told him quietly.

"Is she? Does Draco know?"

"he knows something, look how quiet he is and he keep looking at her. He doesn't know the whole story."

"You're going to tell him yea?"

"Yep, he needs to know, who knows what Ginny may be planning."

"In all fairness, Hermione, I would be more worried as to what Draco was planning."

***************

As soon as dinner was finished, Harry Dragged Draco out of the dining room and towards their bedroom. He just threw a random excuse at the other teens before he left, although they all knew what was going to happen.

The room itself was very large, with a large king sized bed, a chest of drawers, a wardrobe, and lovely creme carpeting with a dark crimson rug on the floor. In the corner was a full length mirror.

Harry didn't think too much about the decor of the room however, as once the door was closed, he slammed Draco into the door and captured his lips in a hot kiss.

Draco threw his arms around Harry's neck and entwined his fingers in Harry's hair, he was just going to go along with it, let Harry have his fun.

Draco felt Harry's hot tongue at the entrance of his lips, which he welcomed inside eagerly, he felt Harry's tongue tenderly touch his own, in a slow, loving kiss. Harry brought his hands to Draco's waste, and pushed his hips more into Draco, successfully pinning Draco down with his body.

_******Smut scene**** please leave your email, in a message or review and I will send it to you. Alternatively hit me an email at **____** to get to me quicker! ******_

***********************

When Harry and Draco finally emerged from their room to join the rest of the house, they found everyone in the sitting room watching a movie. Everyone were in their pyjamas and looking rather cozy with their blankets around them.

When Harry and Draco entered the room a chorus of wolf whistles followed them, much to their embarrassment.

"What?" Draco asked when they all looked at them.

"Fighting a banshee were we Draco?" Pansy asked, everyone else in the room burst out laughing.

"Fuck you! At least I'm getting some!" Draco shouted back, but he did go a bit red, much to everyone's amusement.

"Harry who knew you were such a stud!" Blaise laughed. "Can I have a turn?" Blaise was practically rolling around on the floor with the laughter.

Harry couldn't help but laugh. "it'll cost ya, some of the things I do are illegal in 49 states" Harry said in a mock American accent.

Draco went over to join Pansy, Hermione and Ginny who were sitting on the floor, Harry grabbed a single seater. Pansy couldn't help but notice that Draco sat down a bit gingerly than normally which made her laugh again. Draco scowled at her, and grabbed half of her duvet and cuddled up to it.

"You all are so mean and I hate you all." He declared, kneeling up so that attention was brought to him.

"Ahhh Draco, we don't care if you are a wanton hussy, it's all good!" Pansy said slapping his arse. Which made Draco wince in pain. Which of course triggered everyone else to laugh.

"You bitch." Draco said scowling at her, he gritted his teeth, he would not rub his bum, he would not rub it.

"Awww is ickle Draco a bit sore." Pansy said in a baby-like voice.

"That's it, fuck you, make up is going down the toilet." Draco declared and he sat up, grabbed the duvet, pulling Pansy off it, and then storming out of the room.

"Oi! Draco I'm sorry! I was only messing!" Pansy said from the floor. When Draco didn't turn back she got up and ran after him pleading.

"You all are so cruel," Hermione said from her duvet.

"It's just a bit of fun Hermione, you were laughing too, don't deny it!" Blaise said, poking Hermione in the back of the head, which earned him a slap accross the knees.

"Yes but you hurt his feelings, and now he's going to flush Pansy's make up."

"Correction, Pansy hurt his feelings."

Suddenly a scream was heard echoing around the house.

"great," said Ron, "I'm gunna have to comfort her tonight."

Harry laughed. "Wow if I knew that this house had an echo!"

"In all fairness Harry, we didn't need the echo." Blaise pointed out.

"Thanks Blaise, and word of caution to you all, I would recommend everyone who is planning on having sexual relation with your designated partner to be careful. Draco is going to be on a rampage for quite a while, and he has no bother with cutting holes in condoms, switching lube for super glue, feeding you laxatives and filming you to put onto an amateur porn site. Take this as your warning."

Everyone looked at Harry a bit shocked if they must admit it.

"He once though I was cheating on him so he replaced a packed of lube with a packed of Tabasco sauce. Let's just say he learned that I wasn't cheating on him the hard way!" Harry laughed.

"That's slightly twisted." Ron said. "We are dealing with a homicidal maniac."

"More like a Homo - cidal maniac!" Seamus interjected for the first time that evening.

Harry, Ron, Blaise, Neville, Seamus and Hermione burst out laughing. Ginny only let out a little titter. Hermione noticed this but wasn't going to bring anything up yet. Obviously the fact that Harry and Draco had such obvious sex has made her realise that perhaps Harry might just be gay.

"I better go make sure Draco doesn't murder Pansy in a cold blooded rage with a pencil. Coming Ginny?" Hermione said. Ginny nodded and went with Hermione out the door.

"Harry?" Blaise asked once Hermione was gone.

"Yea?" Harry replied looking at him.

"OK this is guna sound a bit strange, but what I'm going to say now but never leave this room." Blaise threatened looking at everyone in the room making eye contact with every person.

"Ok, Harry, I'm gunna assume that you have had anal sex yea." Blaise asked.

Harry just kinda looked at him. Oddly. As if he had two heads. Where on earth was this going, though Harry.

"Yes that is the mechanics of a gay relationship, why?"

"Well, this is very personal for me, but ..." Blaise hesitated for a bit as if he thought this might not have been a good idea.

"Ok I wanna try anal with Hermione right, and I just don't know how to go about it you know?" Blaise blurted out.

Harry relaxed a bit. "Oh right, emmm well what do you want to know really?"

"Well for starters how do I even want her to want to do it."

"Oh I wouldn't know in all honesty, do you wanna ask Draco, he will probably be able to answer better than me to be fair. And if you wanna ask anything in private just let me know!".

"yea grand, he won't laugh will he?"

"He won't, hang on I'll go get him."

Harry arrived back with Draco about 3 minutes later, and locked the door behind them, Harry just told the girls that he had a private issue to resolve, they won't pry and Draco has been sworn to secrecy.

"Ok what is this about?" Draco asked the room.

"Blaise wants to have anal sex with Hermione but doesn't know how to get her to do and and what to do." Harry explained.

Draco seemed to think for a minute. "It's hard to make girls want to do it. I knew a girl once who's boyfriend kept pressuring her to do it, she claimed that because she already has one hole especially designed for the job then why would he want to use another."

"Also girls are worried about cleanliness. I could imagine Hermione would freak at the though of it. Which makes it harder."

Harry and the others were quite surprised at his answer. If they were honest they wern't expecting such an in debt answer.

"Oh Blaise I have an idea!" Draco suddenly piped up. "Next time you are with her yea, this should work now, bear in mind the last woman I was with was my mother, if you where to start with your fingers right, then give it a lick, and then once she's going, just slip a finger up there. Don't just go in dry, she'll hate you, either spit on it or whatever, don't let her know what you are planning, if it goes right she should be so far gone that she won't mind at all. She'll be surprised regardless."

Both Blaise, Ron and Seamus seemed to think about that, which kinda freaked Harry out if he was honest. This must have been a collective thing.

"makes sense" Blaise said, nodding.

"But keep in mind though, that girls are not made for it, boys have prostates which I suppose work as a G spot, which makes it good for us, but girls don't have one, so if you're gunna do it, lube yourself up to the nines, otherwise it'll hurt, and give her attention, otherwise she will got from the top of the horny scale right to the bottom, no point you sitting back there like a crazed cavemen grunting away while she's just there waiting for attention. Girls do not get that much satisfaction out of it really." Draco added.

"It would be more pleasurable for you if she stuck her fingers up there and gave them a twirl," Draco said as an afterthought.

This made the three boys shift rather uncomfortable in their chairs, even Harry decided, no. Just no, he'll let Draco deal with that. That was his purpous in life after all.

"It's not that bad, really, just a bit of burn and a stretch,"

"Draco stop I can already feel the pain!" Ron said.

Draco laughed, "Ah you all are pussies!"

*****************

Done, dusted, Bla, it's half 6 in the morning but I'm awake. Here is another chapter. Done a few days ago, but what can ya do, I wrote two within one day!

Send me your email for the smut scene!

Bye! xxx


	5. Chapter5 Of Drink & tranny dating sites

Tis me, believe it or not this is my 3rd attempt to this chapter, just won't fall into place for me! Lets give this one a try! Gosh, I could probably start 'Wish you Weren't here' option 2 and option 3. I'm currently swamped with college work, but hey this is a nice release from it all, college can wait, its only the rest of my life I'm talking about XD

There'll also be a bit of smut too! Enjoy! If it gets too raunchy I will have to send it,otherwise It will just be included in this chapter! Although Its possible that my idea of raunchy is not your idea, I'll try to keep it clean (ish) XD.

Long chapter to make up for the time waiting for it!

Well lets get onto it!

**Chapter 5. Of Drink and Transvestite dating sites.**

Harry and Ron bumped into each other in the hallway, it was 10 in the morning, a decent enough hour. Both boys, however did not expect to see each other, judging by the rather high pitched and very girlish scream that emitted from both of them. Twenty years from now the townsfolk will still be talking about the 'legendary banshee cacophony of '09'. It did have quite a ring to it!

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Harry wailed like a school girl who had just seen a spider.

'Ahhhhhhhh!" Ron screamed equally as frightened.

Both boys ran back, Harry tripped over a random plant that just happened to be there at that point of time and landed on his arse right on top of it. The plant had a rather crude drawing of Draco riding a cheetah on it, done in a strange medium that looked kinda like lipstick.

Harry let out an 'oof!' when he landed, winding himself slightly. Upon seeing this, Ron stopped screaming and started to chuckle, and then laugh out loud, soon mutating horrifically into pure hysterics.

Harry didn't see what was so funny. His precious bottom had to be bruised, the plant was a bloody cactus! He'll have to sit on a bloody inflatable ring now that was made for piles, how embarrsing.

Upon hearing all the commotion Hermione and Blaise, who were sleeping in the room nearest to the crime scene ran out, panic stricken, and also a bit excited to see who or what just broke into the house.

"Who is killing a cat with a cactus?" Blaise asked, seeing cactus spines everywhere. He laughed when he saw Harry, sitting half naked with only bottoms on, sitting among a mess of dirt and cactus remains rubbing his bottom gingerly. Blaise burst into laughing when he saw the sight, there as dirt everywhere! Hermione walked carefully over and helped Ron pull Harry to his feet. Harry let out a groan of pain, and with a look of concentration on his face slowly pulled out a 2 inch cactus spine.

"Bloody cactus …." Harry muttered.

Hermione picked up the cactus, looked at it and laughed. Blaise went over to have a look to see what was so funny, he burst into laughter clutching his sides.

"What's so amusing?" Harry grumbled, feeling very tender.

Hermione showed Harry the cactus with the picture of Draco crudely drawn on it.

"Even when he's not here he's good!" She laughed.

"Always knew he was a prickly bastard!" Blaise contributed. Both Blaise and Hermione fell into a head of laughter.

Ron and Harry just looked at each other, shook their heads, and left the twosome to their madness.

* * *

At breakfast Harry decided that his friends were incredibly cruel, they wouldn't even give him anything to soothe his bum with! His precious bum! It hurt like hell, and he just knew he wouldn't be able to sit down for ages, life was so unfair.

"Sausage Harry?" Ron asked through a very pleasant looking mouthful of egg.

Harry gagged slightly, the innards of Ron's mouth was not a good sight to behold.

Blaise snorted with the laughter yet again at Ron's unintentional innuendo.

"yea, Draco's!" He cackled evilly.

"What is it, pick on Harry day?" Harry exclaimed, he was sore, couldn't sit down and not everyone was bullying him.

"You got the short straw!"

* * *

Once everyone calmed down a bit and Harry had stopped leering at Blaise with intent to maul and mutilate, Ron served up breakfast. A feast of sausages, pudding, rashers, eggs, waffles, beans, hash browns, toast and cheese beheld them. Salivating they tucked in. The dining table currently sported Harry, Ron, Blaise, Hermione, Neville and Seamus. The others had yet to awake from their sleep and to be honest, the teens who where at the table were quite happy with the blessed silence it created.

"These are gorgeous!" Hermione gushed when she tucked into a egg sandwich.

"Stop brown nosing Hermione, he won't make you some pancakes." Blaise scolded good naturedly.

It was a unknown fact that Hermione Granger loved pancakes, with a capital 'L' Loved. She would do anything for pancakes, she would jump off a building for pancakes, she would strip down for the president of France for pancakes, she would even throw out her first edition signed copy of Emily Brontë's Novel 'Wuthering Heights' for pancakes … you get the picture!

Hermione just kissed him in return and went back to her sandwich.

Harry shifted gingerly in his seat, his bottom was still quite sore, and god help him, Harry was going to milk it for all its worth.

"Alright Harry?" Seamus asked grinning, Ron had already informed Seamus and Neville as to what happened to Harry earlier that morning.

Harry just nodded, and then winced when a really big sore spot was discovered, who knew cactus spines hurt as much as they did.

"You're fidgeting like Pansy in church." Blaise added.

"Or Draco after you two made up from a fight!" Hermione said perversely. Blaise turned to look at her shocked and surprised that such innuendos came from her mouth, he was such a bad influence.

Ron blanched, he did not want to think of his best friend doing the living Barbie.

"Stay outta my sex life, you couldn't handle it!" Harry retorted smiling while rubbing his bottom unconsciously.

"We know, we've heard." Blaise countered.

Harry threw up his hands in defeat. "Leave me alone, you're all a bunch of bullies." He then folded his arms in a mock huff.

"Ah you're no fun!" Seamus laughed, patting Harry in the back, making him land on a sore spot suddenly, Harry hissed with the pain and gave Seamus a dirty look.

"Awww poor fragile Harry!" Blaise mocked, pretending to coo as if at a baby.

Harry glared at him, a death glare which he had learned from many hours of Draco doing the very same glare at him. It was a glare so powerful and frightening that it was only used in extreme emergencies, this was an emergency.

Blaise stopped laughing, "Please don't eat me!" He begged,covering his head.

Harry only gave him a hard punch to the shoulder, just to assert his dominance again. Blaise think him fragile! Preposterous! He almost broke a blood vessel trying to hold in a hiss of pain but they shall never know!

It was an half and hour later when Draco made an appearance to the kitchen. He smelt the food cooking and just had to get up, looks be dammed! He arrived at the room looking like a porcupine, a look, which ironically enough, went with the picture of him on the cactus. It was a rare sight, seeing an non-groomed Draco Malfoy, he must be sick, either that or the apocalypse must be coming. He was definitely just up, as he was rubbing his eyes at the light of the room.

"Morning sunshine!" Hermione greeted.

"Fuck off." Draco grumbled back.

"Awww is someone in a bad mood!" Blaise added, having had his spirit crushed by Harry, he felt he had to take it out on someone, that someone was Draco.

Draco glared at him, but said nothing. He walked over and sat beside Harry and put his head on the table. Hermione stifled a laugh at her friend's tiredness.

"What's wrong with you then?" Ron asked joining the room and poking Draco in the back of the head

Draco grumbled something incoherent while swatting Ron's finger away, he really couldn't be arsed to talk to him at the present moment.

Ron looked at Harry and the other confused.

"Come again?" Ron teased, making Draco grumble again, angrier.

"Apparently he's annoyed because his mother wouldn't get him the diamond studded watch he wanted, so now he's spiraling into a depression that nothing would cure, not even Gucci, and he would then be doomed to sit in a laundry hamper for the rest of his life, feeding his toes vanilla ice cream while singing old pirate shanties." Harry translated.

"Ah ya can't beat a good aul sea shanty!" Ron laughed, patting Draco on the back.

Seamus and Neville just kinda looked at him, not really knowing what to think, they didn't know Draco, nor his moods too well.

"They were pink diamonds" Draco muttered a bit louder, as if that answered everyones question.

Hermione, who was trying to stop the laughter all through this finally couldn't hold it in and let it out. Rolling on the floor with the laughter, the other boys, bar Draco, looked at her with such venom he would have put a king cobra to shame..

"Draco Harry hurt his bum!" Hermione said withering, and trying to distract from the possible painful demise she was being faced with.

"Really?" Draco said, face changing from that of malice to that of scheming. Suddenly very interested in what was going on, and pink diamonds suddenly forgotten about.

"Yea he decided that a cactus that had your face on it was a great place to sit!" She laughed, sitting back down, allowing herself to laugh again, wiping away tears of joy from her face.

Draco turned to Harry, and looked at him oddly.

"Why did you sit on a cactus?" He asked.

Ron and Blaise booth let out a sigh, while Hermione started laughing again. Even Seamus and Neville smiled a bit. Draco obviously had a ditzy side every so often.

"Draco you're so Blonde!" Hermione laughed.

Draco looked at her confused, "Well, it's not a very smart thing to do is it?"

Hermione laughed. "He didn't do it on purpose, Ron scared him and he tripped over it and landed on it, I was trying to be witty." she explained.

An 'ohhh' from Draco showed that he understood.

"Witty doesn't become you Granger ..."

He then turned to look at Harry, who was still sitting very gingerly rubbing his bottom as if to soothe the pain. He laughed at his boyfriend, who shot him a wounded look.

"You're meant to pity me and to take care of me!" Harry whined, taking Draco's hand and placing it on his forehead to show that Draco should be taking his temperature. Draco laughed, taking his hand away and looked at his nails instead.

"I've learned to pity no man who complains of a sore behind." Draco replied seriously.

Hermione laughed, understanding Draco's implication, Harry just shook his head.

"I don't get what so funny?" Seamus intervened, confused. Everyone in the room turned to Draco to hear his explanation. Harry started to laugh.

Draco looked at him seriously for a minute, as if considering if Seamus was serious or not.

"It's a gay thing." Draco answered after a while. Hermione shrieked with the laughter, at the pure seriousness of Draco's face and how he delivered the line. Harry burst into laughter with her. Both Harry and Hermione were in tears with hysterics. Blaise, Ron, Neville and Seamus just kind of looked at them, kind of bemused. Draco continued to study his nails.

Harry got up off the table and towards the kitchen sink to get a glass of water, his throat was sore from laughing, He was followed by a 'get me one' by Hermione and 'I want cereal, the good one! With berries! And a quarter pint of milk with half a teaspoon of sugar, any more and I'll know!' from Draco.

Ron and Blaise sat back in their chairs drinking a quite dignified cup of tea, it was quite an odd site.

"Where's Pansy, Ron?" Blaise asked.

"In bed I assume, she normally gets up quite late." Ron answered.

Blaise nodded and sipped his tea again. Suddenly both boys laughed at each other, spluttering tea everywhere, much to Hermione's annoyance.

Harry came back to the table with two glasses of water and Draco's special, and incredibly expensive, breakfast.

"Here you go!" Harry said putting it down in front of him.

"Thanks," and with a mischievous grin, Draco raised a hand discreetly and slapped Harry square on the ass, hard.

The howl of pain from Harry combined with the sharp slapping noise attracted everyone's attention. They saw Harry wincing with the pain rubbing his bother and Draco laughing at him smugly.

"How does it feel bitch?" Draco smirked at him. Ohhh revenge was so sweet, Draco finally got his chance to get Harry back from all the times Harry has slapped his ass when he was especially tender after a night of rowdy lovin'.

Harry laughed despite himself. Draco was just enjoying his 'condition' far too much.

"Bit sour today are we?" Harry mocked.

"Like lemons. I'm quite happy today if you must know, its a beautiful day, I got a new nail set and for once you get what you dish out!" Draco said with a grin.

"I hate you." Harry replied.

"I hate you too." Draco said poking Harry in the side.

"I hate you more." Harry retorted, poking Draco back in the arm.

"I hate you infinity! You can't beat infinity." Draco said smugly, as if he just solved a quantum physics question.

"Now relax you two, no hard feelings?" Hermione offered.

"Definitely not for Harry," Draco retorted, glaring at Harry cheekily.

"Didn't hear you complaining last time." Harry countered.

"Ok, lets stop, before someone embarrass themselves!" Hermione continued.

"That's because you like to shove my face into the pillow like a fucking caveman! And that's if I'm lucky enough to have a pillow," Draco said, prodding Harry in the chest with his finger for emphasis. Harry leered at him animalistically and winked, Draco stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ok we have just embarrassed ourselves!" Hermione said, holding up her hands in defeat.

"Shut up Hermione, Harry come upstairs with me." And with that Harry and Draco left the room.

"What just happened there?" Neville asked breaking the silence.

"I think, my dear Neville, that we may have just witnessed the rare mating dance of the homosexuals." Blaise said laughing. Hermione just smiled and shook her head.

* * *

Once up in their bedroom, Harry pushed Draco up against the wall and, drawing him in with one hand, started to kiss him heatedly. Draco responded by opening his mouth to allow Harry's probing tongue entry. Draco's Hands raised themselves until they were resting on Harry's shoulders, Harry deepened the kiss, his hand behind Draco's head being used as a tool to get his head closer.

Harry's mouth left Draco's in favour to kiss along his jaw bone. Draco tilted his head back to allow Harry access to his smooth, creamy neck. Harry kissed downwards, kissing down Draco's jugular and sucking lightly just above his collar bone. Draco couldn't help but moan as Harry's talented tongue did it's magic.

Draco brought his hands down to grab onto Harry's bum, upon hearing a hiss of pain, suddenly that glorious mouth was gone. Harry pulled back so that he could rub his bottom gently.

"I'm sorry! I forgot!" Draco defended breathlessly.

"It's ok," Harry got out still rubbing the sore area.

Draco took Harry's distraction as an opportunity to start to kiss Harry's neck, sucking hard in the hopes of leaving a nice mark on him, he was cruel like that. Harry's hands forgot his ass and went straight to Draco's drawing them closer together, Draco grinned against Harry's neck when he felt Harry's 'reaction' to him, shall we say.

"Didn't you promise me something?" Harry purred into Draco's ear.

Draco slowed his ministrations for a second to try to think what on earth Harry was on about. Then he realized what Harry was on about. Grinning to himself he allowed Harry to capture his lips in another hot kiss. Draco brought his hand downwards, towards the crotch of Harry's pyjama bottoms, and slowly touched Harry's manhood with the palm of his hand. Harry let out a moan, and stopped the kiss for a second when he felt Draco's hand, and then brought him into an even deeper kiss, one filled with passion and lust.

Draco smirked at Harry's reaction, pleased that he could get such a pleasured sound from Harry from only a touch alone, breaking the kiss with Harry, he started to kiss downwards again. This time going lower and lower, giving little kisses and soft nips with his teeth before he had sunk down onto his knees, his eye level to Harry's crotch. Harry's breath hitched when Draco gave a little kiss to his still clothed erection. Draco looked up at Harry and grinned mischievously before giving the swollen flesh that was still hidden another little kiss, enjoy how much Harry was enjoying himself.

Harry practically sighed in relief when Draco slowly released his erection by pulling his pants down a little, letting the hardened flesh spring forward, as eager for attention as Harry was. Draco looked up at Harry once more before kissing the head softly, causing a moan from Harry and sending shivers up his spine. Oh how Draco loved to tease, he could have Harry coming with barely a look if he wanted to.

Harry started to get impatient however with Draco's constant teasing, he grabbed a handful of Draco's hair, and roughly, but not too roughly, pushed Draco's mouth towards his erection. Draco just let him, opening his mouth to accommodate the soon to be invasion that is Harry's cock. Harry let out a groan when he finally felt Draco's mouth on him, wet and warm, and oh so dirty. He let go of Draco's hair to let him do what he wanted.

Draco swirled his tongue around the head, savoring the musky taste. He then took as much as possible into his mouth, making Harry moan aloud from the sensation. He then took up a rhythm that suited him, not too fast nor too slow, just the perfect speed to give Harry the pleasure he wanted. When he felt the cock in his mouth start to swell and harden even more, Draco took this as his warning, suddenly speeding up and adding his hand into the mix, he started to pump Harry's erection for all he was worth, partially because he wanted Harry to come, and partially so that he would come soon. Lock jaw could be a terrible thing.

With a loud groan and a hand entwined in Draco's hair yet again, Harry came, shooting his seed into Draco's mouth and down his throat, which Draco' gladly took, swallowing the load, he waited until every last drop was gone before he took his mouth off. Harry sighed with the relief, and laughed giddily. Draco looked up at him and smiled,

"That good?" he asked Harry grinning, because of course he knew it was.

"Yep!" Harry said smiling. He then dragged Draco up and kissed him soundly on the mouth, before breaking away again to sit down.

"You want me to do something for you?" Harry asked, after about a minute.

Draco thought about it, "Emmm, no, you can make it worth my while later!" He said with a wink.

Harry laughed, and pulled Draco into a hug and kissed him again.

* * *

When Harry and Draco came back downstairs, both washed and dressed, they were met with a very grumpy Pansy sitting at the kitchen table wearing her dressing gown. Hermione and Ginny were sitting either side of her. Hermione was trying to soothe her over something by rubbing her back.

Ron just stood behind her laughing silently, but trying to hide it behind his hand. Blaise just shook his head, also while hiding a laugh. Seamus was also laughing, sitting beside Ginny, who looked a bit bemused.

"Get your period Pansy?" Draco mocked when he saw her.

"Piss off Malibu Barbie." Pansy muttered.

Hermione just mouthed 'shes upset' to him.

"Whats wrong?" He asked, moving over Ginny's chair suddenly so that he could sit beside Pansy on a stool. Ginny got a bit of a shock at the sudden movement, almost falling off and ended up having to grab onto Seamus to stop herself from falling. She glared at Draco, but he didn't notice it, Ron and Blaise did however, and shared a look between each other. The girl's ability to dislike someone she didn't even know was madness.

"It's gone Draco …" Pansy started through heart wrenching sobs. Harry walked over to sit beside Blaise, the two boys making eye contact and laughing. They both turned to have a look at the drama when Pansy let out another pained sob.

"Whats gone Pansy?" Draco asked, grabbing her hands, while looking at Hermione who was trying not to smile.

"Its gone! Its gone! I'll never see it again! Oh why! Its so not fair!" Pansy said getting shriller and shriller.

"I know its not fair, let me know whats gone and we'll see what we can do!" Draco offered, unsure as to what Pansy was talking about, but trying to be as sympathetic as possible.

"My pink dress Draco." Pansy informed after a few minutes of crying.

"What?" Draco suddenly exclaimed, turning to look at her more seriously. "Not the Prada limited addition one of a kind one?" He said grabbing her arms in his hands and turned her to look at him straight on.

Pansy just nodded and burst out crying again.

Draco brought her into a big hug and let the girl cry on his shoulder, obviously he was the only one to understand how serious the situation was. Hermione just kinda rolled her eyes, which made Draco glare at her, how dare she roll her eyes at Prada, at least she had the decency to look sorry after she did it.

"I don't know what happened! I took it out because I wanted to wear it when we go out for dinner later on, and it had a rip! It can't even be fixed because some of the diamonds have fallen off!" She cried to Draco.

"We can sort it out, Pansy, I promise! My father knows Miuccia, we can sort it out!" Draco told her, he was almost as panicked as Pansy was at the moment, almost as if the fashion gods will come and smite both of them for being so flippant about the care and love for a one of a kind piece.

"But what will I wear later!" Pansy wailed.

"The emerald Chanel, the one you got last year at fashion week," Draco offered.

"I don't know, it would feel as if I'm cheating on my Prada dress if I wore it."

"Trust me, at a moment like this, I'm sure you will be forgiven, lets go up and see what you have, you know how much I like raiding closets!" He told her excitedly.

"Yea!" come one, I have some great shoes to show you too!" Pansy said, no longer sobbing distraughtly. The two of them jumped up from the table and ran upstairs, with shouts of comfort and reassurance that they wouldn't induce the fashion apocalypse.

Once they were gone everyone else burst out laughing, they were used to this, but it never got old.

"Oh the drama!" Blaise said, wiping away a tear from the laughter.

"It was such a big deal, its only a dress," Ron said nodding, laughing as well.

"Well in all fairness, it did cost like €30,000 in Paris and it did have 200 diamonds on it as well as a silk underskirt to give a sleek, glamorous look but still make it comfortable and almost like a second skin to the wearer." Harry said thoughtfully.

The whole room went silent.

"Wow, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard you say." Blaise said, shaking his head.

"You're only two steps away from body glitter, leather underwear and a tiara."

Harry laughed, "Sounds like Draco's Halloween costumes."

"He's a bit …. special." Hermione added.

"Wait a minute …." Ron said, as if suddenly he had reached a major epiphany.

"What?" Ginny asked her brother.

"Were going to dinner tonight?" Ron asked.

"Yea, of course!" both Hermione and Ginny said at the same time, both of them laughed and looked at each other when they talked together smiling.

"Did you hear about this?" Ron asked Blaise, Harry and Seamus.

All three boys shook their heads.

"Oh well, were all going out to dinner tonight, Neville is up early so he can't come, but the rest of us are going out!" Hermione said gleefully.

The four boys groaned in annoyance, they hated having to get all dressed up to have a fancy dinner, they were really just a pint and a bag of chips kind of boys.

"And what if we don't wanna go?" Seamus asked, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Then we will inflict upon you the worst punishment of all … I will tell Draco and Pansy you need new clothes." Hermione answered with a smug grin.

The four boys looked at each other, and then collectively said "Ok well go."

"Excellent." Hermione cheered.

* * *

"Why am I doing this again?" Harry asked, trying to make a very tight tie loosen a bit to let him breathe. He let out a sigh, he really didn't want to go to some place where he was expected to wear a suit.

"Because you love me!" Draco answered, smiling at Harry. He pulled Harry's hands down, and fixed the tie himself. "There, you look very handsome." He decided, giving Harry the once over.

Granted Draco had picked out the suit, but damn, could Harry pull it off.

Harry just grumbled his thanks and studied himself in the mirror. He was dressed way too formal to be slightly comfortable, although the material was quite soft on his skin, Harry sighed again, this was going to be a long night.

"Oh don't sigh Harry." Draco scolded light heartedly.

"Easy for you to say, at least you could pull this off!" He said, pointing at the suit that Draco was wearing, which was black but with a pink shirt and tie 'to add some colour'. Harry didn't believe it for a second, the boy just wanted to wear pink.

"Yes, yes I can! I make suits look hot!" Draco said laughing while checking himself out in the mirror. Harry just rolled his eyes and kissed Draco on the cheek.

"Come on, may as well get this done and over with." Harry sighed.

"You sound like your on death row or something."

"I feel it too."

* * *

Downstairs in the sitting room, Ron, Blaise and Seamus were waiting, each of them looking equally as uncomfortable as Harry in their suits. Obviously Pansy picked out Ron's, which was quite nice and fitted him well, very unlike Ron Weasley, who has a liking for orange and velor tracksuits.

"Don't we all look great tonight!" Draco said cheerfully, taking in the sullen and dreading faces of the four boys in front of him.

All Draco got in reply was a few grunts and a muttered 'fuck off'. Draco just laughed at them.

"Oh get over it, you'll live to see another day." He scolded. "I'm going up to check on the girls, stay here, if I find you gone, oh may god help you." he said pointing at each boy individually and with that warning left in the air, he turned around and left to head upstairs.

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to be a long night? Ron sighed once Draco had left.

"In all fairness I'm just going to tune the whole thing out, with a little help from my little friend!" Blaise declared, sneaking the other a peak of four joints he had rolled previously.

Harry tutted, "Hermione won't be happy, she thought you quit."

"What Hermione doesn't know, won't hurt her!" Blaise said with a wink, and went to the back garden porch to lite up the joint.

"Why didn't I think of that." Seamus asked ruefully, watching jealously as Blaise smoked the narcotics while will make the night bearable, and then suddenly running out to join Blaise on the porch.

* * *

"Oh Draco, good, come do my hair," Pansy said as soon as Draco walked in the door. Draco only nodded and walked over grabbing a hairbrush, straightener, curlers and hair clips.

"They're all giving out down there," he told the girls once he got started doing an up-do on Pansy's hair.

"Of course, that's all they do." Hermione reasoned laughing, picking out which dress to wear.

"It's why were taking so long!" Pansy told him with a wink.

"Hermione, which one?" Ginny asked, holding up a royal blue dress and a yellow dress.

"Blue." came the answer from both Pansy and Draco before Hermione could even answer, Hermione laughed. Ginny just shrugged and went to put it on.

"Oh by the way I'm doing all your make up by the way, not going to let my girls out looking like cheap prostitutes," Draco said to the room, putting emphasis on the words prostitutes while looking at Pansy warningly.

"You need to do your roots." Hermione said coming up to have a look at what Draco was doing.

"Wow thanks Hermione!" Pansy laughed, "way to give someone a confidence boost before we go out, I need to dye my hair and I look like a hooker!"

"There you go." Draco said once Pansy's hair was done, he had put it up in a stylish up-do with loose curls, it was a classy but casual kind of style, which suited her.

"You go put your dress on, Hermione let me straighten your hair." Draco said, grabbing Hermione and sitting her on the chair before she could even answer him back.

"Put the emerald dress on!" Draco shouted to the walk in closet Pansy had just walked into. He then got to work on Hermione's hair.

Once Hermione was finished, both Pansy and Ginny walked out in their dresses, both of them looked great with the colours complimenting their skin tones and colouring. Hermione went to get her own dress on when Draco got to start on Pansy's make up, and a hesitant Ginny's make up, who still didn't feel too comfortable around him. Once Hermione stepped out in her blood red dress, she got her make up done and they were ready to go.

"Tanks Draco!" Pansy said hugging him when she saw the finished look. The emerald dress she had one, made her olive skin look amazing, the green accentuating her blonde hair and brown eyes. It was a halter neck dress, with a plunging back and diamond straps. It was floor length and was fitted at the waist but then flowed downwards more fluidly, the satin of the dress making it feel light and cool.

Hermione's dress was a form fitting pencil dress, which went to mid calf level. It made her curves more pronounced. It was simple in itself, little to no decoration, and had spaghetti straps and a straight bodice. The red colour made her tan look even darker and her dark hair made her look almost exotic, with her hair just straightened with a few off curls thrown in, she looked like a Hispanic goddess, she was definitely pleased with her transformation.

Ginny had a blue dress on, which was sleeveless and strapless. It started as a corset for the bodice, with a few dimantes added here and there. At her hips the dress flowed down, almost like Pansy's, creating a soft flow when she walked. It went to mid calf level as well and had a netting underskirt to give the bottom of the dress more volume. With her fiery red hair and pale skin, the royal blue looked divine on her, making her features and her bright blue eyes stand out more.

"I should do this for a living!" Draco declared when he looked at his creations. "Shall we?" he asked, holding out one arm for Pansy and one arm for Hermione, Hermione then held out an arm for Ginny who took it. The four of them walked downstairs to retrieve their respective boyfriends.

* * *

They traveled in a limo to the restaurant where the were going to get dinner, Pansy and Draco would have it no other way. The limo had bottles of wine and champaign, which everyone was more than keen to get stuck into.

Blaise and Hermione were sitting together, Blaise couldn't keep his hands off her, when he saw her when she walked downstairs, he had never been so turned on or amazed in his life. The way the dress hugged her figure made him think that perhaps all the fuss was worth it after all.

Ron and Seamus pretty much had the same reaction, both were quite shocked when they saw their girlfriends, the girls were naturally beautiful, but the dresses, the make up and the hair made their looks much more pronounced. It felt to the boys that they had different girls with them this time.

"Draco! Hermione! Drink!" Pansy screamed, waving a bottle of champaign at them. Ron shook his head, no matter how different she may look, she will always act the same.

Pansy handed out glasses to everyone in the limo, pouring them all glasses of champaign. Making various toasts with various people, the limo trip to the restaurant went by quickly.

When they got to the city of Bridgetown, the largest city in Barbados, the lights dazzled them, and music surrounded them.

When they got to the restaurant, which looked quite post and expensive, the eight teens were brought to a table near the back which was booked for them. The restaurant was playing soft music in the background, and the walls were covered in very expensive looking pictures. Even the cutlery, Ron imagined, looked to be worth quite a lot, and made of silver. Pansy gave Ron a glare as if to say 'touch anything and you DIE!', which was just in time, as Ron was about to paw at a very expensive looking lamp.

When the sat down, a very hot waiter handed out the menus. 'I think I'm in love' Pansy mouthed at Draco and Hermione when he handed her a menu and gave her a smile and brushing her shoulder with his hand as he walked away. Draco laughed and winked at her, while Hermione nodded in agreement. Ron of course didn't like this Lothario making a move on his girlfriend and gave the flirty waiter a good long glare, obviously he was trying to burn a hole in the back of the waiter's head or something.

They all ordered their food and as they waited for the meals to be cooked and served, they found themselves falling into comfortable conversation.

"Hermione, what are you doing now anyway?" Seamus asked her, having not seen her for quite a while.

"Oh I took a year off after school, to just travel and such, but I'm hoping to get into medical school!" Hermione answered, smiling.

"Trust Hermione to get into medical school, knew you'd be a doctor!" Pansy laughed. Hermione blushed, she knew she was smart, way smarter than her friends by any rate, but she just didn't like to boast about it or make a big show about it.

"That's so cool Hermione!" Seamus said, laughing. He went to school with her for a few years and she was very smart, it was expected of her to become something big.

"Yep I'm very proud of her!" Blaise said, putting an arm around Hermione.

Hermione only blushed, she didn't like the attention on her like this, "It's nothing really, just doing what I always wanted to do," she said trying to make it sound like it's not a big deal.

"Ah she's just modest!" Blaise laughed kissing Hermione on the cheek.

Seamus laughed at her, and then turned to Pansy, "And what have you been at lately?" He asked.

Pansy looked at him, "Well I did a course in beauty therapy, but it wasn't really that good, so I think I'm gonna try something with animals!" Pansy told him. Everyone knew that Pansy was an animal lover, especially when it comes to dogs. It was quite shocking, but she secretly has loads of animals at home miniaturized versions of course.

"That would be good, something that you would enjoy," Seamus said.

"My mom is trying to get her some work experience at her clinic," Harry said, his mother, Lilly was the local vet (I just had to, haha she strikes me as the type!) and Harry got her to pull strings to get Pansy in.

"You'd love that!" Ron said. Pansy nodded, "Yea I'm hoping to start in a few months! If I get the experience in, then I can get a head start on a veterinary assistant course, or if everything else fails, a grooming certificate!"

"We could start a business!" Draco told her, excitedly.

"What do you do?" Seamus asked Draco, not really knowing anything about him, he was interested.

"Oh this and that, I've done a bit of modeling, but that was only really for my dad, as he likes his family 'themes'." Draco told him.

"Draco's dad owns hotels." Hermione told Seamus and Ginny. Both nodded in understanding.

"I tried to work once, but it didn't work out, apparently I do not take direction well, or do I listen to authority. I dunno, I never really felt the need to get a job." He shrugged.

"Tell them about the horses Draco!" Pansy demanded.

"Ah they don't wanna hear that!" Draco laughed.

"He does horse riding," Harry said laughing. Draco glared at him.

"Nobody needs to know that," Draco said.

"Ah why not?" Harry asked grinning.

"How ….. sexual, Malfoy." Blaise said. Ron burst out laughing

Draco turned towards Harry, "That's why." He said over Ron's laughter.

Hermione looked at him confused, "I though everyone knew that."

Draco shook his head, "Nope, you, Pansy and Harry know because you've gone with me to places."

"He's very good, he does competitions!" Pansy told Ron, who was still laughing at Blaise's comment.

"All around the world!" She added.

"Do you like riding do ya?" Ron asked laughing.

Draco threw a bread roll at Ron's head, hitting him square on the forehead, Ron just shrugged and just took a bite of it. Throwing a smirk at Draco from across the table.

"Ginny, you've always wanted to go horse riding," Seamus said as an afterthought, looking at Ginny.

Ginny nodded, "Mum never let us go, thought it was too dangerous." She said laughing.

"Draco you can bring her!" Pansy said, "We can all fly over!" She said.

Draco groaned, "Pansy they don't want to go!"

"Ohhh I think I saw that there was a local competition over here, you should enter!" Pansy said, not even listening to Draco who was practically pleading with her to shut up.

Blaise started to laugh harder, everyone just looked at him.

"Has he cracked?" Pansy asked, Hermione just shrugged.

"Omg …. I have just remembered …. the funniest ….." Blaise got out through laughter.

"A joke perhaps?" Hermione asked. Blaise nodded, and started to breath to try to get his laughing under control. It took a few minutes and he was still on the verge of hysterics, but he managed to get out, "This just reminded me of a great joke I heard!"

"Spill it!" Ron and Harry said, wanting to hear the joke.

"If it's another blonde joke ….." Draco muttered.

Blaise shushed him and took a deep breath to try to control the laughter.

"Ok, so a blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience." He starts, Draco rolls his eyes, while everyone else waits with baited breath to hear the rest.

"She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over... " Blaise started to laugh again, and it took him a few minutes to calm himself back down again.

"As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Tesco greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse."

Everyone started laughing at the joke, even Draco managed a smile.

"Predictable, Blaise, very predictable." Draco said.

Blaise laughed at him, "Do you understand the joke?"

"One time, Blaise! One time! God you don't get a joke one time, and they never forget about it," Draco mumbled busying himself by buttering a roll.

"It was more than once," Blaise whispered to Seamus and Ginny.

"Anyway, we're going horse riding tomorrow, I've decided!" Pansy declared.

"You just want something big and sweaty between your legs!" Draco scolded her.

"Of course, I know how much you enjoy it!" She laughed.

"Why else would I do it?" He grinned.

"Pervert," Pansy said to him.

"Slut."

"Skanky whore."

"Cum dumpster."

"Where did you come up with that!" Pansy laughed. Draco smiled smugly, "You will never be able to surpass my talent."

"Yea cock sucking talent."

"You're just jealous."

"You could pleasure a whole town!"

"I could, at least I didn't do it."

"ohhh burn!" Harry said, Pansy glared at both him and Draco.

"I win!" Draco told her.

"You are such a bitch," Pansy grumbled.

"Hey Draco, what has a Blonde and a vacuum cleaner have in common?" Blaise asked.

Draco glared at him, "what?"

"They both suck, blow and get laid in the closet!"

"Oh very funny!" Draco said shaking his head, Hermione tutted at Blaise, but had to hide a smile from behind her hand.

"Hey Draco, I heard you got a job at a loading dock," Ron said. Blaise laughed.

"What on earth are you on about?" Draco asked, sometimes his friends were too weird.

"Why did Draco get a job at a loading dock?" Blaise asked Ron innocently.

"He loves taking deliveries in the rear!"

"Oh Ha, bloody, Ha." Draco said to the two laughing boy scowling at them angrily as they almost pissed themselves from the laughter.

* * *

Most of the night was spend slagging each other, the group had a habit of teaming up and picking on each other, currently it seemed that Draco was the one to be getting all the slagging that night, so Harry was picked to be on Draco's side, whether he liked it or not.

They had a great night altogether, everyone chatting and just basically having fun! Food was served, which shut up Ron for about 20 minutes while Pansy almost chained him to the chair to stop him from stealing everyone else's food, boy did he love food! Blaise was in a world of his own, making good use of the joints he brought, he was now sitting back in his chair in a state of such relaxed euphoria, that if the apocalypse was to happen then and there, he wouldn't know if it was a trip or not. Hermione was a bit giggly as well, which struck Pansy as either she had a sneaky go of Blaise's joint, or she is quite tipsy, Pansy was almost willing to bet on the joint, that boy was a bad influence on her!

At the end of the night, all eight teens were happy, relaxed and enjoying themselves, despite what the original opinions on the night out was. So they decided to bring back some DVDs, alcohol and a vast array of sweets to the house to enjoy themselves further.

Pansy, Hermione, Ginny and Draco went off to get the alcohol (as they looked more respectable, and would get PROPER drink, not like the piss that the others liked) while they let Ron, Blaise, Harry and Seamus get the DVDs.

"Why did I just get the worst feeling ever?" Pansy asked the group when she watched the boys leave.

"Because you can't trust those four?" Hermione offered, Pansy just nodded and ignored her bad feeling.

Back at the limo they were all ready to go.

"Have you got the drink?" Blaise asked, like a starved man at a buffet. (or to some similar analogy, can't think at the moment!)

"Yep, did you get the DVDs?" Pansy asked.

Ron, Blaise and Seamus grinned evilly, while Harry just looked indifferent.

"Oh we got them all right!" Ron laughed.

Pansy and Hermione shared a look, while Harry mouthed 'not my idea' to a confused Draco who was looking at the weirdly. Pansy grabbed the bag out of Seamus's hand before he could protest, and looked inside.

"Wild housewives 6? Girls gone wild 2? Big busty Babes? I think you got lost trying to find the DVD shop." Pansy commented, looking at the back of the Big busty babes DVD case with distaste.

Draco grabbed one of the DVDs, "Ewww, what on earth is that?" He asked, pointing at something at the back of one of the DVDs.

"I think it's a vagina." Pansy said taking a look.

"Well isn't this going to be a fun night!" Blaise laughed, rubbing his hands together, Hermione just glared at him.

When they got back to the house, all the bags full of alcohol and munchies were left on the kitchen counter. They all went upstairs to change out of their clothes, and to get more comfortable. Pansy put on some loud music, and brought a bottle of wine upstairs with her. Hermione, Ginny and Pansy were in Pansy's room, getting ready together, knowing full well that their respective boyfriends were already downstairs consuming their alcohol at a kidney busting rate. They all put on their pyjamas, no point being uncomfortable and getting dressed up if they are just going to stay inside!

A knock on the door meant that Draco was outside. With a shout of 'you may enter!' from Pansy he walked in and was greeted by three girls only in their underwear.

"Someone give me something to wear!" He said, which made the girls realize that all he was wearing was his underwear as well, ones that declared "Sex instructor, first lesson free'. Pansy burst out laughing.

"They're quite... fetching" Hermione said laughing.

"Have you been working out?" Pansy said, eying his body up and down.

"No more than usual," Draco answered her looking at her oddly.

"See, Hermione? This just proves it!" Pansy said with a huff.

"Proves what?" Hermione asked.

"That all the good looking guys are gay."

"Well that's obvious!" Draco answered, "More for me of course!" He laughed, plonking himself down onto the bed beside Ginny and started to look through Pansy's magazines.

"Pansy don't wear that bra," Hermione said, looking distastefully at the orange bra Pansy was currently sporting.

"But I like it," Pansy argued.

"Makes you look like you have little Ron's on your boobies!" Hermione said laughing

Ginny laughed, "I could live without that image, thanks!"

"Wear the Purple one with the lace instead." Hermione offered.

"Pansy control those bazookas!" Draco scolded, when he bothered to look up from the magazine.

"Yea I think it's too small," Hermione told Pansy who was almost bursting out of her bra.

After a couple of minutes with the girls changing underwear a few times they were almost ready to go downstairs.

"I still think it's ironic how the only person getting so much tit action is gay," Draco mused looking up from where he was reading the problem page, he really liked those pages!

"You don't grab them or turn into a mumbling mess when you see them," Hermione answered.

"Ah the power of boobies, if only we could harness their immense power and use it to keep a whole country alive." Pansy said laughing.

Once they were all dressed in their Pj's, Pansy, Hermione, Ginny and Draco went downstairs. When the three girls were finished they got Draco ready, giving him a too small, sparkly, pink t-shirt that says 'My other pony is a unicorn' And a pair of tracksuit bottoms that said, 'Princess' stamped across the arse of them. It was Draco who picked out the clothes, claiming that the bottoms made his ass look great, to which Pansy replied 'I wanna bounce a 50cent coin on it'.

When they got downstairs they heard the quite obvious sounds of a porno being played in the sitting room. Draco grabbed a bottle of red wine, knowing that he will need it after what monstrosities he might see in the coming night. He watched as Pansy, Hermione and Ginny went into the sitting room and sighed.

When they entered the room, all the lights were off and there was a thick layer of smoke in the room from cigarettes. It looked like a seedy gentleman's club. On the telly was a woman and a man fucking over a kitchen table like animals. This wasn't too weird, what was weirder was that Ron, Seamus and Blaise Had Harry tied to a chair right in front of the TV with both his wrists and ankles tied to the chair. He was gagged and Ron was holding his eyes open, while Seamus and Blaise kept rewinding and fast forwarding to especially heterosexual or even lesbian parts.

"What on earth are you doing?" Hermione asked, shocked at the scene!

"An experiment!"Ron said.

"What sort of experiment?" Pansy asked bemused.

"We're trying to see if we can get Harry turned on by watching lesbians!" Blaise said cackling evilly.

Harry tried to look at them desperately, but couldn't move as the force from the other three boys kept him immobilized.

"That's quite … odd." Ginny commented.

"What on earth are you doing to my boyfriend!" Draco screeched when he walked in and took in the sight before him.

"Just seeing if he has any sort of straightness in him at all." Seamus answered laughing.

"And why would you want to do that?" Draco questioned, looking at Seamus like he had two heads.

"For fun I suppose, it's not working though." Ron said.

"He looks like he's crying slightly. Maybe you should let him go" Hermione pointed out. Harry nodded violently when Hermione said that, to show how much he wanted to get away from the porno. His head shaking got Ron off his eye lids and almost welded them shut., which Ron' made a frustrating sight about.

"Thanks, it took us ten minutes to get his eyes open!" Ron said, trying to pry open Harry's eyes again.

"We're not letting him go until he has some sort of positive reaction to the film!" Blaise said.

"That sounds quite gay, trying to make a guy have an erection for the fun of it." Draco pointed out.

"Shut up, it's not gay, we're trying to man him up!" Ron scolded, hating even the thought of being called gay.

Draco walked over to where Harry was sitting and stood beside Hermione. He looked at Harry who was pleading with him with his eyes to get them to let him go.

"Just let him go, you bunch of bullies." Draco said, hitting Blaise on the shoulder with a remote control.

"Ow, bitch, for that now we're not going to let him go until he has some sort of reaction, which at this rate will be all night!" Blaise said gleefully.

"Let me help you then, I can be quite sadistic when I want to be," Draco offered.

Blaise seemed to think about it for a minute before nodding his head, "Yea sure."

"I'll just pick up that remote I hit you with and rewind it to the lesbians again." Draco said.

And with than he bent over to pick up the remote, but Draco had a plan to free Harry, and that plan involved Harry getting an erection. He bent over almost stripper like, making sure his ass was right in front of Harry's eye level. He came back up slowly and pretended to stretch with a fake yawn, causing the already short t-shirt to ride up even more and his tracksuit bottoms to ride lower on his hips, exposing his entire toned mid section.

Smirking, Draco stopped stretching and turned to Ron, Seamus and Blaise. "You may let him go now, my job here is done!"

And sure enough it was.

"That's cheating," Ron grumbled.

"No it's not, all you said was that you wanted a reaction from him, didn't have to be from the film!

"Your boyfriend is an evil genius." Blaise told Harry as he was untying his legs from the chair.

Harry laughed once the gag was taken away, and once he could get up he shouted 'My hero!' over dramatically at Draco and took him into a bone crushing hug. Draco squeaked a little, which was the only sound he could get out, judging by the vice grip Harry had on him.

"Harry, you're gonna kill him," Hermione pointed out, noting how Draco's face has gone from red, to purple to blue.

Harry let go of him, "Sorry," he said to Draco.

"Ss … K" Draco managed to get out, massaging his ribs.

Ron shook his head, "You're such a cheater," still in utter disbelief as to what happened.

"My sexual prowess is too much for you," Draco said laughing when he caught his breath.

"Sexual like a monkey eating a banana," Ron retorted without thinking.

"You are a kinky bastard aren't you!"

* * *

Later on, Ron and Blaise were playing a drinking game where whenever a girl in a porno says 'Cock' Ron must consume a shot, and whenever a girl says 'Fuck' Blaise gets a shot.

Needless to say both of them were fairly intoxicated after around 5 minutes.

"Hermione!" Pansy drunkenly declared after watching her equally as drunk friend down a bottle of beer, Pansy giggled while Hermione burped.

"You're such a boy!" Pansy laughed, arms around Hermione's shoulders as the two of them swayed to and fro dangerously.

"I can do what I want! I'm on vaca … vacati …. holiday!" Hermione slurred, not quite able to get out a normally easy word for her.

The two girls who were incredibly intoxicated walked into the sitting room where Ginny and Seamus were piratically having sex, although clothed sex with one of Seamus's Hands up Ginny's top and another down her skirt, Ginny had a hand around his crotch, it was rather inappropriate especially in a sitting room. Hermione and Pansy giggled secretively when they say them, and somehow managed to stumble out of the sitting room without falling.

"Oi I was looking for you!" Ron yelled when he spotted Pansy entering the kitchen with Hermione piratically attached to her hip.

"Ron!" Pansy said happily, letting go of her safe hold, i.e. Hermione, to stumble and fall into Ron's waiting arms. Ron laughed, almost falling when she hit his arms, but he managed to keep himself steady, such a feat for a man with so much alcohol in him. Pansy giggled in her arms, looking up at him adoringly. A true sign that Pansy was past intoxicated, she looked at people adoringly.

"Where's Blaise?" Hermione asked, sitting down onto a kitchen chair with a heavy thud while looking underneath the table as if Blaise was waiting there.

"I think he said he was going to help Harry to send an email to his mother." Ron answered, pulling Pansy up slightly so she wasn't leaning against him as much.

"Ok! Wait, why send an email now? They're such idiots!" Hermione laughed happily to herself before managing to get herself back onto her feet. "Come on, let's go crash their party!"

Ron laughed at his normally reserved friend who could barely walk. He had to help both girls into the games room where they found Harry and Blaise on the computer laughing to themselves.

"Hi guys!" Pansy shrieked when she saw them. Harry and Blaise jumped and whirled around to glare at them, but physically relaxed when they saw who it was.

"Hi baby!" Hermione said, plonking herself onto Blaise's lap, much to everyone's amusement. Blaise just hugged her tight, knowing that when she gets hyped up with drink and drugs she gets very touchy feely …*very* touchy feely, seeing as the girl now had her hand up his top.

"What are you doing?" Ron asking, noticing how Harry had closed down a internet window when they all came in.

"Oh nothing" Harry said nonchalantly, Blaise however burst out laughing.

"oh yes you are!" Pansy said, stumbling away from Ron to somehow opening up the webpage, on it was a dating site … for transvestites.

"Wow Potter, is a real life Barbie not good for you?" Pansy asked laughing. Harry hit her slightly on the arm in embarrassment.

"No … but we are registering a new member!" Blaise said laughing, he then showed them the profile that they had created.

The first thing that they saw was the profile picture. Which was non other than Draco who was obviously very drunk beyond belief wearing a sparkly pink nightdress with bunny ears on his head. He had a pair of sunglasses on and lipstick by the looks of it, the nightdress was falling off from one shoulder exposing one nipple. In the picture he had the nightdress lifted up with one hand while the other one held a joint.

Pansy and Hermione burst out laughing, joined in with Blaise and Harry. Ron looked horrified.

"Omg I love it!" Pansy shrieked through the laughed. Hermione nodded in agreement, unable to talk through her hysterics.

"Read the 'about me' Section!" Blaise laughed. "Me and Harry came up with it, tell us what you think."

Pansy went closer to the screen. "Name … Lady Coco Meringue …" She started to laugh. "wow you sure love your meringues!" She laughed. Harry burst out laughing.

"Keep reading."

Pansy turned back to the page. "Age, 19, Blonde hair, Blue eyes … wow one bit of truth haha … ok, 'about me', 'Coco here I'm looking for someone with a massive cock , must be over 10 inches as anything smaller will just not do it. Must be dominating type, must love really kinky stuff, I want someone who is man enough to piss on me while I fuck a mop, must let me lick your toes as I think feet are sexy. I want a man who will let me shave his back … shaving back hair is soooo sexy! You should toe fuck me too as feet are sexy, must have long toes! I can put my legs behind my head and I'm very flexible, you can fuck me all sorts of ways and I can do it! If you are not man enough to take me then don't bother getting back to me, I only want real men, preferably more than one, I can come to your parties and entertain, I can do some really freaky shit with a bottle of wine, a potted cactus and a lighter."

When Pansy had finished Harry and Blaise had almost pissed themselves laughing, Hermione had almost passes out from lack of air. Even Ron was laughing loudly.

"How imaginative, where did you come up with this stuff?" Pansy laughed.

"More importantly, who had that photo?" Ron asked laughing.

"I took that during his 18th birthday, what a night, took me 2 weeks to get all the glitter out of my stuff." Pansy said sighing with the nostalgia.

"I love the toe stuff! God he really likes his toes!" Hermione laughed, re-reading the post again.

"And back hair, where did you come up with this!" Pansy laughed.

"Well some of the stuff is obvious, especially the only wanting a 10 inch cock part," Harry said, nudging Pansy slightly while raising an eyebrow at her suggestively.

Pansy hit him, "Harry Potter! You are not aloud to talk like that, you're much too naive and easily embarrassed for that sort of talk!" She scolded.

"Dirty boy!" Hermione said laughing.

Harry laughed, "At least the piss part if not true ..." He said.

"Yea I suggested that one … was once with a girl who wanted me to do that … left right away," Blaise told them. "You're a million times better than any other girl Hermione," Blaise added when Hermione looked at him shocked and betrayed. She seemed happy with the answer and relaxed back onto his lap and put her head onto his shoulder.

"Kinky."

"I was once with a lad who did the mop thing though ..." Harry said.

"What?" Pansy and Ron said in unison.

"Yes didn't want to tell you all because of that fact" Harry laughed.

"Who are you and what have you don't with Harry?" Pansy asked, holding Harry's face in her hands while studying him.

Harry just laughed, "Went to a club, why not had just broken up with Eric and was bored. He was a freak, he wanted me to record him on my phone while he did it …." Harry said, giving an account of his estranged encounter with a weirdo he met in a club.

"Harry Potter … you astound me, I still to this day do not know you." Blaise said, clapping Harry on the back, Ron nodded.

Harry laughed, "I like to keep my personal life personal" he said.

"Does Draco know?" Pansy asked.

"Does Draco know what?" Came a voice from the door, the five teens turned around to see Draco standing there, well more holding on for dear life in the doorway.

"Though I left you on the pool table." Harry said.

"The stick was sticking into me and I was lying on a ball."

"That's what she said!" Hermione and Pansy chimed in suddenly shrieking with laughter.

"What do I know about?" Draco asked again, stumbling towards them and sitting down on the floor beside the, germs be dammed he was tired he rested his head on Harry's thigh and looked up at him.

"Mop boy." Harry said messing with Draco's hair.

"Oh that weirdo? Haven't heard from him in a while." Draco said thinking about him.

"I heard he got arrested." Harry said.

"Oh yea, he gave some fella a blow job in the middle of London and fucked himself with a cucumber at the same time."

"He was a weirdo."

"yep, weirdo freak."

"Remember he wanted you to dance the macarena naked?"

"Yea was the oddest 5 minutes of my life."

"I still can't believe you never told us this!" Blaise said, nudging Harry.

"We have a secret life." Draco told him."Ohhh tell them about that guy in the bathroom!"

"Ah they don't want to hear that."

"Sure they do, at this club we went to … I think it was a few months ago … anyway it was a theme night … I think it was beachwear … but yea imagine a 6 foot 8, 400 pound guy wearing a sequin thong and nothing else doing the chicken dance while rubbing semen onto his chest."

Ron looked rather uncomfortable while Pansy started to laugh.

"That's not all," Draco added, "He asked me where the nearest library was and whether I knew that I looked like a plate of spare ribs. He then tried to act all sexy and started to lick his man boob. Strangest 2 minutes of my life."

"That's interesting" Blaise said, laughing slightly. "Some people are freaks."

"So what are you all doing on here anyway?"

"Oh just setting up a profile for a dear friend of ours." Blaise said trying to control his expressions.

"Really? Lets look," Draco said, and before he could be stopped, he was looking at the page.

There was a bit of tense silence as everyone waited for the imminent explosion that was about to happen. The all sat back slightly when they say Draco's shoulders start to shake. And then suddenly he burst out laughing.

"Who did this?" he asked laughing.

Hermione and Pansy pointed towards Harry and Blaise quickly.

"That's brilliant … ohhh put in that 'Coco is like a top of the range bicycle, It's been tried and tested but still the best ride you'll ever get'" Draco suggested.

"That's brilliant, that can be the page intro." Blaise said, pushing Draco aside and editing the profile.

"You sure now? This will be public!" Harry asked Draco while Blaise hovered over the 'create account' button.

"Yep! I wanna see who will answer, any man that would be willing to let me ride his toe is worth a look in my book!" Draco replied.

"You are a very strange person you know that?" Harry said shaking his head.

"Awww you've got nothing to worry about Harry, yours is the only toe I'd ride!"

"Fucking better be!" Harry said and with that he pulled Draco up and started to kiss him very passionately, so passionately that a 'splash zone' was created.

Ron, Blaise, Pansy and Hermione all looked at each other bemused, trying to avoid the fact that some low rent porn could start really soon.

Ron tapped Harry on the shoulder, "You're messing up the keyboard."

Harry pulled away from Draco and wiped his mouth. Draco did that same after the dizziness passed.

"Wow even after all this time, you still have it!" Draco laughed pretending to swoon. Harry just laughed and went in to kiss Draco again this time pulling Draco onto his lap who straddled him.

"Draco stop raping Harry." Pansy said laughing.

"It's not rape, it's surprise sex." Draco reasoned, pulling away from Harry, who latched himself onto Draco's neck like a starved vampire.

"I'll give you that. Oi! Edward Cullen, stop that!" Pansy said, swatting Harry on the head.

"Piss off." Harry grumbled.

"Awww don't worry, ickle Hwarry – warry will get his bit later." Pansy said in baby talk.

"He'll get his bit whenever he wants it." Harry said laughing, and was about to pull Draco into another kiss, but he Draco was looking at the computer screen again.

"Who has that picture?" Draco asked, squinting as he tried to make out the profile picture better.

"I do" Pansy offered.

"ohhh can I have it? I wanna send it to my dad for April fools and I wanna write underneath it 'Guess what …. I got my operation!' ah nothing liking giving that old grump bag a good shock to start the day … he's due a heart attack anyway the old bastard, may as well be the cause."

"Believe me … you will be." Ron muttered under his breath.

"I heard that." Draco retorted hitting Ron on the knees.

"You're mother would love that," Pansy said. "She always wanted a girl."

"I hear it every year at my birthday." Draco told her.

"Oh yea she cried and claimed that if it weren't for your gentiles she would have a perfect daughter."

"That was the most uncomfortable half an hour of my life," Hermione said, "I've never heard a dignified socialite millionaire say 'testicles' and 'penis' so much."

"Ah Narcissa … If dreams were women it would be you." Ron said.

"Oi, stop fancying my mother." Draco scolded.

Pansy just laughed, "You would have no chance Ron, she likes 'em old and rich."

"Leave my mother alone, she rules, she bought me a brilliant diamond encrusted television for my birthday and took me shopping in Milan."

"I wish my mother was like that." Pansy said, "Mine is so tight with money that she won't even get soft toilet paper until everyone's arse is red raw from cheap stuff."

"Thanks for that Pansy" Blaise said.

"Oh no bother, you're welcome." Pansy said evilly.

"Rich people are weird." Ron said.

"We're weird because we can afford to be!" Draco told him.

"More like inbreeding." Blaise muttered.

"I am not inbred! I have a proud line of lords, dukes and noblemen pulsing through my veins! I am the result of hundreds of years of elitist breeding." Draco said huffing.

"I bet they are all spinning in their graves because this was the end product!" Blaise said laughing.

"An over reactive, flaming, homosexual who is so gender confused he doesn't know to sit or stand up to pee."

"I resent that, Blaise, everyone knows that it's more comfy to sit."

Ok I know, I know, don't kill me took forever to get out, this has been sitting on the computer for ages just gathering dust, it just wouldn't turn out right! My muse abandoned me! Haha.

* * *

Hopefully this will be up to par for you all!

Please R&R

thankies!

Updated slightly due to gramatical errors and spacing errors.

New chapter out soon! My computer crashed on me and real life got in the way again!


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